Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Cult Leader Credentials; a shameless blog plug.

 Ego Death Stuff Starts Oct 2019 thru June 2021; Then the crazy  zen stuff. 

((IF YOU, are on a cell phone and you are super sad that you can't find the rest of my blog...because i am  so  fun to read, then you need to chose to view the page as a website. Because the rest of the blog  can be found to the LEFT in the DROP DOWN menu that goes back to 2007.  At least there will be a lot of laughs. I dare you...))

             Post Script  OCT 2021.... This is by far my most visited blog. One would like to think it is because it was an attractive tongue in cheek sarcasm about brainwashing cults that people liked. But....they visited no further.  Not a confidence booster.  So I am going to have to imagine that my other philosophies and sarcasms are   blah blah blah. 

           The entire blog is  a tale of one person's dark night of the soul. Arguments and adventures thru my spiritual/psychological conversions and de-conversions. A philosophical and very personal working out of the path of a soul seeking sanity.

         I want to extend a belated invite to explore the other spiritual, religious and psychological mental meanderings brought forth from many  live stream of consciousness keyboard clacks. And comments questions, topic corrections ..all these are always welcome.

     (live means all this stuff was free form first draft composition. If i have missed typos and edit mistakes, forbear i beg you, it is the thoughts that I am contending with and my sword is a rusty knock off)

 <<<<<<<<AND NOW FOR YOUR PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED BLOG READING>>>>>>>>>

                      Hello, I would like to apply for the position of "your cult leader".  

 

            See I need such a position to become a source of ridicule and pity so I can gain more converts to my twisted methods. I mean surely I am a brilliant shining picture of perfect humanity. I am every man.

          And am fit to be the object of your adoration and disrespect.  I have a mild case of meglo mania, that is sure to self destruct as all good cult leaders do. My only advice is .... Don't drink the kool-aid and don't take the brown acid, and for god's sake NEVER take the red fucking pill. I am an honest guru. 

          I have only lies to tell you. The truth you will find is within yourself.  DAMN I gave away my secret...........I  forget the very first lesson in guruology, GET THE MONEY FIRST! OK; ok. No more messages form my gloryiousness until you find the goodness in your heart to support my imaginary ministry to the many would be receptacles of my infinite blessing. 

 

           You would never see me in a million dollar jet, although I admit to the greed of wanting to build an upstairs to my modest home, and maybe get another computer. I mean if people are gonna bye my shit then I think I should get some comeuppance I do not have the power or authority to alternate the temperature of your rooms while you are forced to do physically exhausting rituals,  nor can I love bomb you and criticize you in person in order for you create a sense of dependency upon me. I won't be feeding you bland and low protein foods while forcing you to recite approved group speak.

 

                    But I can hope you get hot flashes of insight when you hear truth from me.

 

     So I guess you will just have to surrender the mind to me on your own so we can get this thing happening. You want me to set up a pay pal account , cause I'LL do it. 

 

         I am fairly impotent as any all seeing all knowing guru knows.  But if you still wanna worship me I suggest you starve yourself for a week, smoke lots of pot and do nothing but read and re-read my posts and my blog.....rinse thoroughly and repeat until insane, like me. 

 

         But I would really prefer you keep your distance, and don't bother me with all the petty personal  details and squabbles. Just get the money and be gone with you. I believe you should be in control of yourself for I don't want the headache.   

 

         DAMN IT I think I just gave away my brainwashing options.  I guess you will just have to brainwash yourself.  I wouldn't know how to anyway.   Don't have the patience and really don't want to mare my pristine character and Divine divineness.. most holy guru that I am.   No, I don't wanna have sex with you mutants! But I would love to touch your mind with sweet banter and glorious truthfulness. And lofty thought from time to time. Or the chatter of the mundane world, and share in the pangs of the heart. 

 

         SO if you are in the market for a new guru in your life, introduce your self I will begin the programming immediately, there is a 30 day free of charge trial, and if you don't figure out that I am a Charlton by then,  I will give you the special price.   If you require a guide then come to me and allow me to guide you in the wonderland of pure imagination. To the glory of god as you know him.

       SO act now while my brilliance lasts, and if you don't need me then your not ready so do not apply....(HA! I kept my hook)

 

  (DOH!) izm, candidate for new guru, usa http://insanzenmistress.blogspot.com/

2 comments:

  1. I see so many people get lead to this post.But no one ever checks anything else out.

    Guess I didn't keep your interest after I grabbed it. Bet it was my bad spelling and grammar, wasn't it.
    Trust me the "guru" bit was just a sarcastic misnomer.

    Now about this piece i wished that i put in more of the common red flags that false cults use against their victims. This was supposed to be a comedic take on the methods of cult leaders.

    Guess I just suck at analogy...allegory..sarcasm? Nope, it was just so Poe that, i can't keep an audience.

    Achievement Made!

    ReplyDelete
  2. $insanezenmistress, hey HI...i just found out two things. That posting comments has gotten stupid complicated. You have to subscribe to the post atom thing. It does to take you form the site, it only does a pop up.

    I am dreadfully sorry the added step was not by my design and your comments are definitely.
    important to me.
    I also learned that my cash ap has a limit of 1000 dollars a week. Isn't that like a perfect beggers bowl?
    People who donate would have their donations sent back if the limit for the week was already met. But everyone would know that I would be using that money toward getting my nomad RV talk to strangers and love people where they are at.
    To be free to be fun and give love and understanding. My imaginary mission to the world. LOL.
    But well i still have a lot of work to do before i can afford the RV but after i get that.... i wanna be a traveling hermit monk. And get to visit my family more.
    And if people really did start donating... i would be impressed and honered and also obligated to show my work, because i am not a bum. I might would get to business on my You Tube channel.
    GUYS!.....
    You ain't seen cray cray till you see that i DO to the DIAMOND SUTRA.
    I double dog dare ya..

    ReplyDelete

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