Saturday, June 5, 2010

checking in

ZILCH SAID Hey Justine- are you still there? Drop me a line or reply here.


I am still alive. I just havent had much to say yet in my blog. I have two projects I wish to write about but havent found my words. Such words are harder to find since I got sober (from pot y'know) Thank you for posting me.
The first thing is that I am getting a divorce in a year . Here ,we need a year separation to get a no-contest divorce. We had been married 18 years in july. seperated in may. I havent put it all together for bloging yet. But then these blogs needn't be ultra perfect or professional, and it seems my style would be to get on there and work it all out in verbal vomit. But I have been self conscious since sobrity. lol

And the second is I have been going to N/A. ( narcotics annonymous) And OMG... I could puke up a storm about that... garsh the irrational cultness....keeps me in rememberance of why I am agnostic. Why doesn't this world work for the rational? But I wanted to start that blogging off being able to confidently expound and "do" the 12 steps essay style.

Again isn't it more my style to do that as I go? Which leaves me only with a self confidence issue about writing sober.


maybe I'll post this letter to my site cause I think it's naturally written and concise......

Thank you Zilch, I guess I have been neglecting my 2 readers...forgive me.


PS. I'll be back shortly to work on my verbal projects. As i said words and writing inspiration are harder to come by but i am almost ready, now time to concentrate is a factor.

Currently I am taking some pre-GED style tests, and 7th grade math is whooping my arse. Actaully that is an old thought because last night I visited some new friends and got some tutoring and I feel more confident about ratios, precents, fractions, and unit conversions. Area and curcumfrence was always easy to me, as long as I had my formula cheat sheet near-by.

When I test this comming friday in Math, reading comprehntion, and reading for informations ( ie graphs and crap) I will get a token certificate that the employers who hire from this particular system use to determine eligibility. I might also be able to see a career counsoler and take aptitude test to see what I am qualified to be when I grow up. The system I am enrolled with could set me up to go to school in the feild I choose from the options presented thereof.

That's my plan B. My plan A is to hope my simple little salad bar job comes through this month. I will work there happilly and slowly ease into studying for Pharmacy Technition at me own pace preferably. And then make 50,000 dollars a year.

HAH! wouldn't it be the sweetest to get out in the world and make more than my ex-husband? To own my own house practically flat out in 8 years when my youngest leaves home and I give him back HIS house? (ahhhhhhhh)

My Latest Mantra is "If 40 is the new 20, then I am 17 and still have plenty time to make a decent life for myself because most 35 year olds, who are wise have by then established their future. Therefore so can I become established by the time I am 56 and still rather young" (it's not a mind numbing chant of a mantra ommm shanti)

Plan C? oh... well that one is not so sweet... I get on the welfare and give in to the sterotypical failure mindset and go back to smoking my life away.

I dont like plan C.... hopefully something better than that will present itself.