Saturday, October 2, 2010

Huge mental battle ....

..... in the kiddie pool.

Ok so i got THIS MANAGER....*snickers* Now, it is seldom my habit to get personal with individaul persons here in my "blog space" But this fresh from college anthoritarian wannabe, nevermind the little hypens general manager is pulling ye olde "Grant and withold" maneuver on poor little ole me who had foolishly confessed to having a great pride and sence of perfectionism about my work when he gave some seemlingly sencier geniune praise.
BUT the rub lieth in this, that his praises while lofty where also equle in dread when he yanks away thatand beats me arousn with the *why cant you keep up with the stndards* speech all brainwashed managers must get you to bend over and fuck your humanity with.

This manager is like a E-4, coorperil , or younge sargent jsut out of leadership school,. but this man is not a true leader, already i am cunning out his weakness's
He does not have the respect of his men, he is a rules rapist, whats more he stand sbeing "athority" and would rather have his men happy shiney cowering ravenious little robots

This fool, how i dispise how i am precieving his character. it is so ..... *shudder* perhaps ther eis something i want to learn about dealign with *that KIND* of personality.

Wouldnt a buddha type live peacibly unaffected by his lords mean, only following his dharma or his tao. But i kinda want a vengnce of a sort.
wouldnt a perfect servent lead their Masters? Even the un ruly and foolish Masters.

Is that what the Salad ninja does? but

I i really HATE this guy....

Do you? what about love the sinner hate the sin, dont belive pre-historic advice anymore?

So, i been thinking, i would like to try my hand at live comedy sometime before i die.
It is totally like the perefect plan. *cough illusion* i is work i can do into my old age. Many good comedians make a full and wealthy career off the same jokes or decades.i could make more money than my ex-husband, and travel........that ex will constantly berate me with negitives no matter what. *dons grumpy unintelligent that man voice*

uhhh i dont know who you enemies are. "my friends" or "people" tell me blah
oh ha ha you gave a guy a ride'll fall for anything....your easilly taken advantage of.... when you need money call me...
*eyes glaze over from manipulation*

gawd i hate humans.

but in this case i am truely tempted to play back to my manager. But i must be covert.

I simply cant shout Jahvol mien heir.
but he certenly seem to come form a ego place that seems to threaten if you dont treat me right i have the athority to fire you and as you can see i am a nit picky motherfucking assholethat never directly fires you.. naaaa i get more fun makeing you cry and lose your cool .you will umm "fire yourself"

YOU MOTHER FUCKER! you manipulative liar i think i OUGHT to do battle with you.

It is never about you mangaeing me it is about ME mastering this job.

This cannot be done in 3 mothns.and less than teop since you came to micromanage the crew.

You add to me "bring fresh clean dishes to the bar while trying to fill up the 46 things to over flowing while chopping and replaceing suplies, being pleasent and curtieous with the customers while interrupting their progress to continue my deuties cleaning it to *SPEC* to maintain the Ruby Teusday image.......

I dont have time for dishes. sheesh. SPEC. you mother fucker i think spec exists in yoru head, i never saw that manaul...if i get an additude can you show me the manaul so i can Read fo rmyself what the standards are?

One day you praise me that i am a worker who likes to figure things out and the very next off day you punish me as if i have been on the verge of being fired for incompitence.

And i had been foolish enough to trust your sincerity, and to take the little candy bar you brainwashed trained idiot follower. ZIEG HEIL motherfuker.

I want to show you. but what.
part of me wants to be so subtle withmy perfect obedience i can make a mockery of his mircomanaging by following his illlogic.

or i cna be something like that by makeing him rediculous because inorder for me to maintain his idea i should have to get an egg timer and set it to go every fifteen miniutes.
would he concider this showing initiaive? or should he be embarrassed the more systematically i turn myself into a contradiction of genuine customer care..
How many times might i intice a costomer to praise me to his face? I already recive a few dare he INSULT ME with his scolding.

anyway,,,see i got anger...

Gee wiss Mistress i will never be a zen master now.

" then be a zen servent"



I realised that i havent brought up the true spring of my ire. My anger is notall about any precieved insult to myself. But there is an old lady who has been workign there a long long time. She has gone on a month of vacation to settle land in greece, when she comes back, will he pull his micro managment on her? She will speak back, and will he apply the thumb screws to force her to quit her only income? I cant abide that game, it is lower than sophmoric, he is an ambitious child.
But let me back off my rage, seeing as how he IS a rules rapist he will ever appear to be "only expecting reasonable things" i mean really......there are places where i could become more conscientious but he undermines and calls it motivation.

Having lived in an manipulative marriage and goign thru a manipulative divorce, i am sick and tired of giveing way my freedom to be "reasonable" esp where human decency is concerned.

Sick and tired of people telling me i am not good enough because i am not perfect in my "compliance". That Manager has already turned a potintially good furture manager into a shiney happy butt monkey. He has his butt monkey say engouraging things and appear as an up beat and motivated shiney training video employee... but that "encouragement" is phoney. Then that manager took time to praise his BM in front of me about how BM was shineing like a "superstar" (for helping me load up the salad bar once during rush).

I feel i need to make annonymous complaints to cooperate. i will remember that these manager types never stay long, i merely need to out last him.

Now if only i could get myself to be a Ninja Butt Monkey and still respect myself in the morning.