Sunday, April 27, 2008

Stateing the obvious

Sometimes we have to. Just a little reality check to make sure one is still on this planet.


Ive become aware of a kind of wool sticking in my eyeballs. It stings.

But tell me if this is really happening in the world or not......

What religion you are or are not, have become hot topics and are currently resulting in wars and skirmishes. Open attacks on ideas are being challenged and people are all jumping about taking sides and getting vocal and murderous.

Ye olde My god is bigger then your god routine. Everyone is fervently awaiting their god to show up and kick ass.

Our other pass time, here in America as far as i to grope over the issues of should we have a woman president or should we have a black man president. it is the main focus of the news and comedy theses days. No one seems to be talking a lot about the platforms.

Both of them want to raise taxes or do something to control us a little bit more inconveniently than we are already controlled. But we are thinking about that. They are selling us a la la land of the ideals each "group" has held for generations.

Ye old distraction maneuver. Not only is my god bigger then yours but my holy notions are too.

Male or Female, they merely represent sides of the same Party Uber-Goal. Would you like your enslavement from mother or father? I warn you Mothers often can be far more viscous than fathers.

So we have McCain..........well i dont get his media angle. He seems like in the middle guy. And i think this lack of exposure is scripted. Perhaps he stands in for Ye olde Status Que

it is almost like our lives are the Truman show.

But that could be my paranoia. God only knows if that's what the book says.

notice how often commercials on tv, show humans not interacting. See past the fact that it is a phone commercial, realise they are really teaching lack of human contact.

notice how many of our entertainments are about murder. I dont know about you but i am plain sick and tired of death and vengeance. For my entertainment. It is like the modern mind numbing Colosseum. I have seen tales of people from other cultures, other very pagan cultures dont like our American "god" they think our tvs are our idolatry. How right they are.

If we are not looking it up on you tube or google, we are watching it on television.

I am as guilty. I love me the Internet.

But back to our neatly constructed lives for a moment. Why the hell is your kid in after school programs for? Now i admit i do like a lot of spare time my self but why must i take them to soccer?

I know of another society that once pushed the youth physical fitness program. They didnt last very long.

Oh i see but, we are fat, and our kids really have forgotten how to go out and play. We are electronically entertained. So it is a good thing, to have these programs. For the Children's own good.


I have long said that when the anti christ comes he will make such sense, it would seem idiotic to not follow his soothing suggestions.

Don't our issues really seem plastic and distractionary. Doesn't it seem like our money's are all going toward controlling mechanisms rather than quality of Life enhancements?

I day dreamed that i could sit all the world leaders in a room and get the truth, and then started to change things.....ya know like i could turn off the bad and selfish and make the powers that be lovers of humanity.

I like to day dream that it could happen . But i am a realist also. I get into the fantasy and figure out problems and it occurred to me that because humans are like we are. The best way to change them might be to use some of those "evil techniques"

I i know you are screaming "fallacy" you cant tell a pious lie.

But my husband threw this at me in this way. He said imagine your utopia, it would be exactly like fascism, like a twilight zone flip side of the coin version of the government you fear.

Now he did not say it as eloquently, i translated it into girl-speak.

Imponder that. But something it better then us not making the actual operations and goals of our presidential hopefuls our media focus.

Why does it seem that we are the audience and they are the players? Maybe i watch too much television. I wager if we watched not enough tv we might get two min to really think what the power of the people is for.

Thank gawd i live in a country where i can blog to my hearts content.

Viva La Mater land.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Zen Master's Quote blog

Hello Humans.

i was looking thru my note books for a particular writing, and i found other random things i thunk i might like to say outloud.... in your head. Make of this random spallter what you will. They are dusty conversations.

**** Come, step into my mind, and dance the riddle of time
And put on the shelf what you fear of yourself
For the lies only kill and the truth just a thrill

She who smiles precosiously aware
Meaning... Intent.... Her eyes barely there
And with her meaninff intent , she cries untill her soul is spent
And never to be , before she seems
Comes and goes, Her whispering dreams.****

November 21, 2001

Today, i have reveiwed my notebooks over the last few years and have a plan to transfer the coherent material into this note book ( and concecitive). A major change occured to me on nov 12 and now some days later it is like no time has passed, my whole life is now vs. before. And i trust James now, the loss of the first book was a release. It was the act of faith He spoke of. Letting go of myself ( my mind) ......

I have been very fortunate and i am thankfull for my life.
(post scritp: i had written cool book during my 104 fever but it got burnt.)

November 26, 2001

I am spending the day with Lanel. I managed a little awareness of the lesson of my dreams this morning. My teachers where both controling the direction of the dream, as if helping me navagate a path. Like a guessing game. There was something about submission to observing detail and timing even though the objective is easillly attained.......

We are all Buddhas, i am the cute and funny one.

Do you think that Jesus believed in himself? Current theology teaches that Jesus was fully man as well as god. So Did he believe in himself? What could be harder to believer about yourself than, that you are the Liveing Child of God. Doesnt this theology teach that we should be Like Jesus?

Oh Mercifull Buddha Of Infiniate Enlightenment!

Tell me how i can always remember that i am free , just as i was yesterday when i felt so serene.

The void is knowing that there is no day to day problems. You can also choose to veiw such inconvensneces as predictable even enjoyable thigns... and call your life thrilling and challenging.

All heartache is caused by your attachments and willingness to let go. If you where full of void, you would be able to feel your emotions and detach form them as soon as they are done. and not feel that you have to cling to grief and pain and all the clingy bullshit that has little to do with the oridginal emotion of losses and gains.

Our problems are insignificant.

I can make myself exceedingly happy in five mins just by getting up and dancing the funky chicken, and imagining someone watching.

I can dwell in habitaul depressions merely by not calling displeasure of it to the focus of my attention.

Everything you want is attainable in your power and pressence of mind if you have the eyes to seek it.

That is the void.

Simply the presence of your mind with you at this moment of awareness.******

(quotes previous from " The Zen Master's redundant journey, take two. circa 2001-2"

Next From "Book Four" Feb- Nov 2001

*****(justine asks james a question)

Why is it that i offtian feel like my ability for self control is slipping away?



August 30, 2001

You cannot follow or attach to any religion, not outter form. Not in this world, today's age. People in general are confused by their choises.

So Shiva or Jesus makes you feel good and comforted, he will still starve you of experiences. ALL gods are jealous they had been deprived of true worship. Such as only YOU are capible of giving them.

But yours is to transend even the bounty.

You are THAT. You are god! it is natrual that your ego craves your attention. You are a wonderful creation. And the god you seek for comfort is equally as lovely and desirous.

Weaker souls will slip in to the traps of resting in diety. It is an extreem level of dharma.

But it is also illusion. Unoin with one mind. that is only one way to know it.

devil and deva are one word in their roots.

Attachment will bring suffering to both.

September 4 2001

Dear Zen Master,

You have become distastfull to me. Always the thought of realisation just under pure experience. Always the voice that knows but whose words cannot be found.

You crave to be the explaination of my reality and dangle unknown bliss beyond my limit of understanding.

Zen Master, I adore you as much as i deplore you. I want to run. But that is where you are leading me.

I made a vow that i would never need anyone or anything as badly as i needed *insert ex-guru's name here* Not even Enlightenment!

Not learning , not myself, not god ,nothing.

Do you want me to Need you! I cant.

What ever you have, i will also recieve all in due process. I joyouslly await it. I will not chase it thru a person. But thru my person. ******

The end of the quoteage.

Sunday, April 20, 2008


My first problem is naming this post, Should it be, "human mysteries" or "Solving world problems"

These are some of the ideas i been throwing about in my head, but still have yet to solve them

So ill throw out the ideas, like unmated puzzle pieces, perhaps wether or not i can make myself clear the verious ideas can be fleshed out later, or maybe just rest here having been thunk but unuseable.

Forgive me a bit, i am a writing without the luxurey of my addiction. I am on day 3 .....the third day sober is hard.....but day four is harder.....After that it gets easier and i start to lose my delusion that i NEEEDDDDD pot to think CLEARLY>.... (why do we believe our lies?)

ok Thought number one.........Can humans achieve "world peace" without fassisum?

We are a self distructive race. If you took the time to think about it, arent we quite like a virus to the earth. Why is it that we cant let people live their lives, makeing their own desisions? Why is it that we cant produce for ourselves a "tower of babel" where people of like minds can redispurce themselves over the lands of the earth and live and let live?

I know, my idea sounds nieve (didnt i already admit to my nievity?) and maybe uneducated.

I admit there are alot of things i DONT know about human government, and how civilisations are glued together. But as i said.....this is a disjointed brainstorming session in prep for some kind of fantacy i want to write later.

Humans represent a wide cavernous sliding scale.........we are as brillient as we are ignorant. Some of us live in gangs and our whole living mean is to make sure that someone on 86th street doesn't LOOK at our little sister with lust. Others of us develop great technologies and sciences to try and make our world more convenient.

Some of the "world problems" are misinformation. How can any of us find the truth? Truth about our governments, truth about our medias, truth about our sciences? People are in the business of Lieing, look at the "zegietist" and likely the "god who wasnt there" movies. They show that all those humans care about is ........well is what really..........seems they just want to make de-convertes or smack down christianity.

What i see are myrid oppinons butting heads....he says yes; she says no..... and no REAL way to determine the truth. ((not for me, i cant afford college, but even there it is the same, isnt it the college educated schalors that i have been reading that are the producers of these conflicting oppnions?))

Sometimes what may be in fact true is painted in a redicoulous light and laft at for being a conspiracy theory.

But what if.

Is there a group of people behind the sences running the whole show......useing preceice social sciences to master mind the human sheep into little cookie cutter realities?

Oh, now i am a conspiracy nut? It doesn't seem to far fetched. I mean look, the various groups spouting their oppnions and sides as if you can only join a side or b side. Our oppionions are handed to us in the news, it is quite black and white. One is either A or B. For Bush, against Bush. Even the particular reasons within A or B is handed to us.

Partisian or independant. Yet if you look, the so called independant has structured oppinons that define their beliefs.

Or, on the other hand, maybe humans are lined up in structures of A or B and the C's arent even counted becasue they are not the majority. And what i see IS how the humans are thinking all by their lonesome.

I long suspected that there had to be come kind of over seeing group of world plotters. But of course who can find proof? And who lives long after publishing proof?

We complain about the world, yet WHO does enough to fix it?

(agian forgive the scatteredness theres jsut alot of thoughts i cant put together)

Greed. Power. Control.

No matter how peacfull or wonderfull a single person's life may seem to them, no matter how loverly a groups lifestyle caters to their higher ideals, no matter what spaces of human comunity have been formed, they are meaningless!!!!!!!!!!! because there is always some IDIOT with greed, power and control to come and take form you what you have created.

Hypothetically, suppose i believe in god to such an extent that my life is at peace, that every moment is a prayer, that i bestow my goods to help others when i can, and i believe i experience the delusion of god with me and am focused on integreity and spiritaul clairity.........If i lived like that, then in my personal reality i am doing my part to make the world around myself better for others. It becomes meaningless as soon as someone form 86 street thinks i need to die for wareing the wrong t-shirt.

argh, i am not expressing myself very well.

Is human peace possible? NO. Because we are violent. No, because we are ignorant. No ,becasue there are few who are altruistic. No, because we are greedy. No, becasue we think we need to dictate to others. No ,because we keep electing people with agendas less than nobel.

So here some of us rant and rave on the evils of the world........some of us are content to blame god for it but it AINT GOD"S FAULT>

if any of the "holy" gave a rats ass about the god they call good wouldnt they be GOOD?

wouldnt they vote for good people, wouldn't they stop oppression, wouldn't they feed the africans, wouldn't they put a stop to false medicine, wouldn't they organise watering and feeding stations for the homless is far greater numbers than they DO?

Basic Humanity is NOT good. And i also digress because humanity is also GOOD. I mean lies and scams would not work of people wheren't basically honest and expect honesty form the people they deal with. Is honesty a delusion just as christianity is?

THink about that. Humans are Square Circles. The world is NOT LOGICAL.

The human facts point to human violent ignorance and human greed, and humans being Sheep.

So perhaps human goodness is an illusion. Becasue with or without god, in all of human history we are not nobel. We are not kind. We are not but viruses eating up the earth and hurting each other for the pure pleasure and the pure illicit gain. I mean..............i think i hate my humanity.

I think ......i mean, i hope...........that we put ourselves out of our children's misery.

(maybe i am feeling my nature to be violent becasue i am stupid).... Really how much have I DONE personally to aid the world?

Are humans impotent? I mean , are we as impotent as GOD itself?

I mean some spout how good they are and if god was good and he allows evil then he is not good. Arent we AS GUILTY?????

We have done nothing to solve the worlds evils, in fact we Profit and revel in it.

so apply your anti god arguments to yourselves. SO what; there is no god............what are YOU doing? About as much as god i think.

I mean i just dont get it.

I dont get us.

I dont understand anything.

Maybe i am ( or have) loseing it. I just come to a place of utter disillusionment. Where my only real choice is to either BE for myself the change i wish and morn that i can never comnicate it well, or to go stir crazy with my impotent rationality.

I mean .......i live in a world where a crook can sue his victum if he gets injured while robbing him.

We have lawyers who will argue and WIN and care nothing for truth . Can i say humans dont give a shit about truth? I mean cultures are built on LIES. And NO ONE is saying a word about it. We collectivly turn a blind eye to ignorance and stupidity. Becasue the people being so stupid are makeign all the MONEY and gaining all the POWER and creating for us the nice illusion we sheep feel safe in.

Money is made by lies.

You know what i wish?

I wish i could be "Human" Seriously.

If i was a Human. i might take my insights and wrap them up into new age sounding mutter and weave in a little bit of exitential bullshit and polish it to sound pious like Oprah is doing and make myself a millionare.

because humans are STUPID.

If i had the greed and the desire for power and control and the lack of consciouness, i could very easilly become a cult leader, a religious icon, a sheep herder.

But i cant. Dont have it in me. Ill be the first to tell you i am full of shit.

so i suppose becasue i am in actaullity, Human. I cant paint us with such broad strokes.

my complaint is that there are more "evil" humans that "holy" ones.

And i guess that is the one thing i really cant understand. Why we are like this? And how can we fix ourselves?

((((stops to re read and wishes i was high))))

Of course i do understand that people, society, laws, ect are far more complicated than i am aware of. And i bet if i had the education i should be rather impressed that we get along as well as we do, but doesnt it seem that success if built on blood, and greed?

Is that the way of humanity that i am supposed to accept? I mean if i was rational i should accept what is true, right?

I cannot be rational and say " i reject your reality and substitute my own"

But i can. You do. I mean do we even know what reality is?

Reality is what ever i see with my own eyes. True reality is what we all see with our own eyes.

Nope you cant say that. Does a nuclear scientist see the same "reality" as that bum from 86th street? HELL NO.

The scientitist lives in an entirely OTHER reality. SO how can we truely define reality and therefore rationality?

Back to Rationality........ Life is not logical. Love is not logical, serving others and makeing a better that even "Logical"

Given what humanity is, an illlogical race of self distructive greedy power hungery idiots, emotionally run, and violently expressive of our emotions? What then is being rational compared to the majority of human sheep that we are?

Rationality is a luxury of very few humans. And even that is comparmentalised. One may be rational about relligion, rational about history and text critisisum, rational about child rearing but not rational enough to STOP THEIR OWN EVILS and cure their mentalities.

Lets suppose we create a "logical" religion. Doesn't logic and rationality deny any form of spiritaulity? Yet humans are spiritaul creatures.

We are square circles and wont be universally content being either A (logical) or B (spiritaul)

we are best makeing room for both. Logic cant be inspired by a sun set. Logic cant experience the kind of vision that has invented lightbulbs.

(be kind in your oppinons, sure it was by logcal methods that the light bulb was created but at the first it was a fantacy notion of having light at one's disposial)

As with the fantacy notion that humanity can create world peace. If it can be done it would be accomplished through logical methods..but at the moment the fantacy notion seems hopelessly delusional.

Delusional because as humans we each have a different understanding of what would be the ideal rational life and the ideal rational human civilization.

ARGH..............what do humans want anyway?

seems most of us want to live our lives, we want families, we want pleasures, we want a nice place to exist, we want comunity but we seem to settle for things less than humane.

maybe i am the only discontented person. thats it......

i am utterly delusional, and humans really are happy.........

I am the only one what wishes for more goodness and integrity. I am the only one who thinks we are swimming in lies and are impotent to change the world.

It is my delusion that if we really wanted to we could change our minds and live in a better world.

Yet i am only delusional because i can dream we WOULD ACTAULLY CHANGE. I am delusional becasue human goodness is NOT what humanity IS.

Goodness is a fantacy. Conversely, if i say that and can see that, then i would have to see and say that if goodness is a lie, then evil is a lie too.

ARGH well that means what?

basically there is nothing to hang on to. We will always be deluded by ourselfs.......

deluded by even our good rationality. Simpley becasue what is rational to one is ignorance to another.

so apparently i have painted myself into a mental corner. i can totally relate to nihilism.

I think the reason i am painted into this corner is because of my obsession with the atheist/religionist banter that leads no where. My obession with understanding.

But i am seeking the impossible. In the end i have only my "reality" and alot of impotent answers. Because it will never happen. People will never wake up and strive for integrity.

Not enough of us.

For instance the price of gas. the price of ciggarettes. At what point to we collectivly say enough is fuckign enough we WONT put up with "their" agendas?

Too many people are makeing a selfish profit, and too many good people are forced into that system becasue that is the only lively hood available. IF we actaully cared for our "secular humanistic " ideals wouldnt we care more?

Anyway, i can see i am just rambleing the same two opposing thoughts, the duality of man is my dilemia.

IS there a rational responce to that?

Not a rational responce to thinks are not solid, this was a brain storming blog...the ISSUE i am trying to define , i guess, is that of our human duality. Is there a rational responce to human duality?

(as a side bare if humans are duality they where does buddha get off teaching there is no duality in true reality. i dont know, maybe he is right we can chsoe to not be dualistic but how do we get the idea to catch on with the human sheep?)

well if you read down this far, i commend you. I am not sure if i made a lick of sence, and i dont care, i have just been stomping my feet and screaming wildy and nievly "aw why cant we jsut get along"

Which prooves my point about somethign truthfull and nobel being the butt of a joke rather than concidered.

Your impotent and honest unrich non-power hungery delusional guru signing out.

(ps this post has made me so depressed i think ill get back on zoloft.......... but i would rather get back on weed but some idiot wont let me.)

((why doesn't the spell check work for me all the fargen time?))

Another thought. The only way we can create a world culture is by killing most of us. To start with the undesirables who wont fall into catagory A or B. Such as the people of 86 th street.
The only way the current system of humanity will attain cooperative civilisation, and mutaul support for our countries is through death and fassisum. Because the sheep cant think for themselves.

Look at us................Disasters strike and we hold out our hands for the government fo fix it. We beg our government to control us. WE FUCKING BEGG THEM TOO.

We have people who "care so much for our safty" that we have to have laws to enforce seat belts and " caution coffee is HOT" labels. And the ever curious "not to be used inside the body" on my curling iron.

We focus on silly things, and i am not the only human that sees this. I am one of many impotent humans who cant DO ANYTHING to change the way things are.

i need to stop now. what is lost can never be saved.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Biblical Atheism

Greetings Reader,

In the interest of balance, some kind of cosmic who's-eee-what's-it has created for me a situation of some kind of symbolic message of logic and questions leading, we hope, to some it-thing we call truth.

Most of us are agreed that religion's suck and current understanding of the bible/et all and most assuredly the common mindless practice of the same is OUT.

But a few still believe in a god idea.

I do.

And "karma" has brought me an "atheist apologetic friend"
We are talking first about what is it that i am defining when i think , image or speak of "god" and we settled hovering over to me god is the "uber mind" or it is maybe how i am interpreting Carl Jung's collective unconscious. Be cause i have no "religion" or frigided "belief" but seek truth and understanding, my idea of god is able to grow........there is much in the realm of consideration to go thru before ruling out god as imaginary.

and i have a contact now to hammer out the philosophy it is hard to explain and iterate. not blog ready rants.

exploring the line between common subjective reality and delusional reality. As we here have been trying to define the line between sin full addiction and wise use. It is not in a simple rule; Don't smoke it is in a principle. IN balancing principles.

Anyway what is Biblical Atheism?

I wanted to write a book once. i think i can use the bible to make a new sect. My opening argument is that God said have no image.

and i would also go on with proof text that what god really wants form humans is to KNOW him.........what Jesus prayed for was that We too might be one with our father as he was one with his..........and the "gospel" is that it is finished. We are all one with god as he is with the father and jesus was an example ,even if in idea and myth , of the ideal that man is also god, also inpart and god the into the gospel according to the atheist......

When our frontal lobes get fried and we have that disassociative experience (See god helmet) the shit going on in your "reality" present a wicked cool point of view of oneness or connection with uberspace..........a Buddha mind..........what ever you want to call the damn phenomena most humans vaugly understand it as god and the experiences a revelation of god.

i argue that you have this kind of "spiritual experience" if it is a natural thing. now, you do have to work on it there are methods therfore scienftific explainations, you do have to seek to purify your mind, you have to think. It not lal laa laa land. And you have to let go of the work becasue no work can get you there it is already now. Be be still and live.

what it is and what it means we don't know. As scientific atheist shouldn't we not stop at just dismantling some dumb desert peoples take on the matter of god?

I think it you take the arguments out far enough you will see God itself is undefinable and exists somewhere in the present and is utterly "other" than us.

if we catch an understanding of the great elephant we have only a little mirror to compare it with.

therefore it is useless to fight about god.

My atheist friend and mine "debatefull conversation" is about I think there is an argument for god , simply because humanity created them..yes it plays out in the negative greed violent controlling human way but that is not the only way to practice. some people really go Grow and shit just happens in their of attraction? maybe

it is cant all be our imaginations. or math.

Doesn't that seem too simple?

Yes the ideal we call godly we actually crave for ourselves...........and the bible has many verses that point to a good "holy" character. it seems quite convincing in experience, hard to shake.

why work to shake it?

Figure out what that attraction IS. It exist therefore it has meaning and humans can modify it and make good use. Religion people have not made good use of the metaphoric mythical sciences to convey views into greater uubermind's knowledge.

ubermind is a less loaded way to say God to some of the readers.

it is a heavily loaded word..........we can't speak curiously about god because everyone has him predefined or pre-un-defined before we speak.

SO i create a new god name........Sir Uber-Mind. I dont like the flyign spagetti monster he is merely a mockery of the vile common religon god thing.

to his friends, It who is your disassociation.

No the jury is not out on the whole issue. It is merely out on the bible as literal and the practice of religion. There are other ways to interpret the books. Or to not need to interpret the books.

Damn lost my topic.....

Biblical Atheism...........I'd like to write that book, not to prove that god does not exist but that *GOD* wants to liberate you from your own religion so you can really explore the notion of *himself* with all the available fruits of the garden.

You all seen me use the adam and eve story in here lots and lots. It is biblical and it is a Myth but it can be seen in a way that may lead to logical insight. Our minds are like Programmed to make sense right???????

There is a correct vision that makes the holy bible a holy thing.

No i cant describe how........we can only try and discover how..........but still i cant get you to Sir Uber-Minds palace door................

damn i just wrote a salvation story..............

used it to make a point against accepting the christian gospel blindly and doctrionally. IF you take the gospel be true to that mind wave.......did you see that shit

if i could only actually come up with that at will, and add some logical use of random verses, id have me my book

Biblical Atheism..............

anyone wanna to play along in comments................