Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Keshathra Part 1, Chapter Ten

                                             ****Diana*** 

                    I went to my room early that night, and decided to write about the things i have been thinking. It is raining, and it was a little too quiet this evening in the living room. Her Majesty Queen Lanel has just announced that they are sending my Father's unit to the war zone. I am in dread for the future. My Father is a Top Sargent Lord in Her Majesty's Service, and trained in strategic missions. My throat hardens and hand quivers as I calculate his chances this time.

          If he dies... be-because I am still in custody, Madam was heartbroken to inform, my sister would become a ward of state and put into a Reform home until I am released. I am aghast with horror. Be-because I just wouldn't get with the program and obey my father, suck it up for a few more years, get strong ...then..then... i am a fuck up. I ruined my life, oh god I ruined her life. I am a shame, and ill never be able to let my father know... I wi-will...never get to show him I that could be anything different to him but a lost cause.

          I stepped away from my desk, and paced. I didn't like those dirty rugs anymore so I took scissors and shred them, and pulled down the curtains, turned the mattress and suddenly Madam had my wrists... it was three in the morning how did she hear me? She sat me down on my bed and pulled a chair over and sat beside me.

 "Your self pity would wake the dead, who can sleep through it. I came up here to help you and saw you throwing a fit. This will be stopped." "Self pity!.. I am mourning my dad!" She nodded negatively. "Honestly Diana, is THIS how you want to remember your father? With is ever judgmental disapproval over you. His dieing breath Echoing 'why was my little girl such a looser.. loosserrr... loooooooossssssssserrrrrrrrr'....so you can cry yourself into motivation?" 

          I was in stitches. oh my farkin gawd. Hum, that's George's word.... I realized I had been thinking instead of speaking. "Diana, what about this fit? Is this any way to act? If you want to redecorate you need to do it organized. And you won't throw any more little tantrums like this again." I noticed the tone in her voice changed and my nerves began to tense, my eyes found her's and I saw their color changed and my legs twisted in closer.

        "I I w-wont Madam, I just lost...u-um i got worked up, I am ok now, let me clean the room up, please." She sat straighter. " Yes I believe you will be ok for now. But this is personal. You violated my things, as well as my sleep, And this is rude. Not only will you re-do this entire room by hand, to include sanding and staining the floor, you will also lower your pants and come over my knees, now." And my guts became stone. The rain drops pounded against my window, and the air chilled. " You said I.. I had freedom to discuss... we aren't in the basement, M-Madam." 

           Her eyebrow quivered but she was not retreating, I could tell. "If you have a better suggestion, something equal to the pain and humiliation and lesson that this will do for you. Or if you can convince me by reason that this is unnecessary, because you have learned something, or understood the principle during the lecture that makes spanking unjustified violence. Then you may argue. But if you are only going to plead, or insult you had better reconsider, Diana. Take a moment and then chose your answer." 

         After reviewing myself, and my actions, feeling shame for something I could not put my words on.... then my mind went blank and I only knew I didn't want this. How about... stand in the corner for a long long time? She nodded negative as I thought and reminded me that my time was to be spend re-furbishing the room. 

          So I complied with her ridiculously childish order. And stayed reluctantly compliant through an eternal thrashing. I counted...it was the only way to stay alive..... 75 farkin swats.............She murdered me!...... She turned off my light as I retreated into bed saying. "Premature Regret" and disappeared into the darkness.

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