Kehshathra Part 1, Chapter Nine

****Jerry****

Tonight it was my own memories that kept me awake. George didn't come in to let me know if he was ok, he barely made it to his room. I listened to the noise of the house my senses ultra sensitizing when the basement door closed softly, and lights clicked off, and steps ascended the stair...."He'll live, Jerry" said the lady from the first room. But I wasn't going to sleep. I went outside several times to smoke, and finally ended up waking when Ms Carol got in the passenger side, and offered me a pack of smokes, and lit herself one as well.

"I didn't know you smoked. " I yawned impersonally.
She smiled . "You don't know allot of things about me, I like you, limit myself to certin areas to smoke, and I do not let the addiction tell me when it is time."
"I don't know if that's possible Mistress, I simply go nuts if I cant get a smoke at least every couple hours." She had an amused gleam in her eye, causing me to defend myself."That's no licence... don't need a reformer's help with that little liberty."
"No I wasn't thinking of forbidding anything of yours. It is just curious to me why people insist that they are powerless to themselves. " I also gave her a quizzical gleam. "You can suppose that you have utter self control, Mistress. or that you are pure logic, can you? Cause it is impossible you know."
"Perhaps in accepting imperfection we realise we are that." I spurt out just as she finished. "Ah see we are but we are ignorant, always limited." She thought a long moment and then laughed."What's in these cigarettes?" "I don't know, you gave them to me."
"Yes true. And should you decide that you require a lesson in addiction management, I'll be on call." Her cheshired smirk unnerved me, as it cut through me like prophecy. I studied her down hard, and she sat back and smiled.
"Master Rob taught me to occupy myself and resist my temptations. To think of my responsibilities and what not. "
"Yes but he did not teach you how to overcome the impulse to obey addiction. Just methods to ignore it. The wall that you built up never allows you to pass, and it holds back a great load of fear to err. But not temptation."
"You claim you have mastered temptation?" I grinned incredulously. She shyly smiled. "You are making the claims, I have not mastered everything. It is impossible, as you know."
"And with that, good morning Mistress, I could use some coffee if you please... follow me to the kitchen." I got out of my car gallantly and opened her door.
I don't know exactly why I lost my anger and worry I just knew that Mistress Carol had carefully handled George, and I felt a faithful respect to her.
I made coffee and breakfast this morning, and George joined us on time for serving.
I had my back turned to the stove when I heard Diana giggle, when I saw him with a white cloth tied over his mouth silently mocking her. "I guess this means we can finally watch tv in peace at night." I joked. "Oh yeah." She chimed back." and no more teasing me with your stories." He gave her a very expressioned "oh yeah" look and started to curl the bottom of his shirt in his fingers in preparation for lifting..but suddenly jerked halt and dropped to his knees. Carol had stepped in from the back kitchen/dinning room door. We knelt and bounded back quickly, and Carol made her way over to George who stayed down."George, we discussed this. No plotting." His eyes where apologetic and tilted his head and then lowered it, and she stepped back from him and causally smelt the food and refilled her cup. I was shocked, Diana shrugged with a roll of her eyes and continued setting the table, George got up and worked with her.
"I sure don't get you, Mistress." She smiled. "You don't really understand the breaking Ritual, Do you? " I thoughtfully continued putting food into serving bowls to carry out. " Well, I know it is about surrender. And It's violent. And about facing reality. But that's it." She took a few platters and we started to the dinning room. She said "Surrender is the first principle of Wisdom."
And we ate, and conversed about general things, and make jokes at George's expense.