Problems

My first problem is naming this post, Should it be, "human mysteries" or "Solving world problems"

These are some of the ideas i been throwing about in my head, but still have yet to solve them


So ill throw out the ideas, like unmated puzzle pieces, perhaps wether or not i can make myself clear the verious ideas can be fleshed out later, or maybe just rest here having been thunk but unuseable.


Forgive me a bit, i am a writing without the luxurey of my addiction. I am on day 3 .....the third day sober is hard.....but day four is harder.....After that it gets easier and i start to lose my delusion that i NEEEDDDDD pot to think CLEARLY>.... (why do we believe our lies?)


ok Thought number one.........Can humans achieve "world peace" without fassisum?


We are a self distructive race. If you took the time to think about it, arent we quite like a virus to the earth. Why is it that we cant let people live their lives, makeing their own desisions? Why is it that we cant produce for ourselves a "tower of babel" where people of like minds can redispurce themselves over the lands of the earth and live and let live?

I know, my idea sounds nieve (didnt i already admit to my nievity?) and maybe uneducated.

I admit there are alot of things i DONT know about human government, and how civilisations are glued together. But as i said.....this is a disjointed brainstorming session in prep for some kind of fantacy i want to write later.

Humans represent a wide cavernous sliding scale.........we are as brillient as we are ignorant. Some of us live in gangs and our whole living mean is to make sure that someone on 86th street doesn't LOOK at our little sister with lust. Others of us develop great technologies and sciences to try and make our world more convenient.

Some of the "world problems" are misinformation. How can any of us find the truth? Truth about our governments, truth about our medias, truth about our sciences? People are in the business of Lieing, look at the "zegietist" and likely the "god who wasnt there" movies. They show that all those humans care about is ........well is what really..........seems they just want to make de-convertes or smack down christianity.

What i see are myrid oppinons butting heads....he says yes; she says no..... and no REAL way to determine the truth. ((not for me, i cant afford college, but even there it is the same, isnt it the college educated schalors that i have been reading that are the producers of these conflicting oppnions?))

Sometimes what may be in fact true is painted in a redicoulous light and laft at for being a conspiracy theory.

But what if.

Is there a group of people behind the sences running the whole show......useing preceice social sciences to master mind the human sheep into little cookie cutter realities?


Oh, now i am a conspiracy nut? It doesn't seem to far fetched. I mean look, the various groups spouting their oppnions and sides as if you can only join a side or b side. Our oppionions are handed to us in the news, it is quite black and white. One is either A or B. For Bush, against Bush. Even the particular reasons within A or B is handed to us.

Partisian or independant. Yet if you look, the so called independant has structured oppinons that define their beliefs.

Or, on the other hand, maybe humans are lined up in structures of A or B and the C's arent even counted becasue they are not the majority. And what i see IS how the humans are thinking all by their lonesome.

I long suspected that there had to be come kind of over seeing group of world plotters. But of course who can find proof? And who lives long after publishing proof?

We complain about the world, yet WHO does enough to fix it?


(agian forgive the scatteredness theres jsut alot of thoughts i cant put together)


Greed. Power. Control.


No matter how peacfull or wonderfull a single person's life may seem to them, no matter how loverly a groups lifestyle caters to their higher ideals, no matter what spaces of human comunity have been formed, they are meaningless!!!!!!!!!!! because there is always some IDIOT with greed, power and control to come and take form you what you have created.


Hypothetically, suppose i believe in god to such an extent that my life is at peace, that every moment is a prayer, that i bestow my goods to help others when i can, and i believe i experience the delusion of god with me and am focused on integreity and spiritaul clairity.........If i lived like that, then in my personal reality i am doing my part to make the world around myself better for others. It becomes meaningless as soon as someone form 86 street thinks i need to die for wareing the wrong t-shirt.


argh, i am not expressing myself very well.

Is human peace possible? NO. Because we are violent. No, because we are ignorant. No ,becasue there are few who are altruistic. No, because we are greedy. No, becasue we think we need to dictate to others. No ,because we keep electing people with agendas less than nobel.

So here some of us rant and rave on the evils of the world........some of us are content to blame god for it but it AINT GOD"S FAULT>

if any of the "holy" gave a rats ass about the god they call good wouldnt they be GOOD?

wouldnt they vote for good people, wouldn't they stop oppression, wouldn't they feed the africans, wouldn't they put a stop to false medicine, wouldn't they organise watering and feeding stations for the homless is far greater numbers than they DO?


Basic Humanity is NOT good. And i also digress because humanity is also GOOD. I mean lies and scams would not work of people wheren't basically honest and expect honesty form the people they deal with. Is honesty a delusion just as christianity is?


THink about that. Humans are Square Circles. The world is NOT LOGICAL.


The human facts point to human violent ignorance and human greed, and humans being Sheep.


So perhaps human goodness is an illusion. Becasue with or without god, in all of human history we are not nobel. We are not kind. We are not but viruses eating up the earth and hurting each other for the pure pleasure and the pure illicit gain. I mean..............i think i hate my humanity.


I think ......i mean, i hope...........that we put ourselves out of our children's misery.



(maybe i am feeling my nature to be violent becasue i am stupid).... Really how much have I DONE personally to aid the world?


Are humans impotent? I mean , are we as impotent as GOD itself?


I mean some spout how good they are and if god was good and he allows evil then he is not good. Arent we AS GUILTY?????


We have done nothing to solve the worlds evils, in fact we Profit and revel in it.



so apply your anti god arguments to yourselves. SO what; there is no god............what are YOU doing? About as much as god i think.

I mean i just dont get it.

I dont get us.

I dont understand anything.


Maybe i am ( or have) loseing it. I just come to a place of utter disillusionment. Where my only real choice is to either BE for myself the change i wish and morn that i can never comnicate it well, or to go stir crazy with my impotent rationality.


I mean .......i live in a world where a crook can sue his victum if he gets injured while robbing him.

We have lawyers who will argue and WIN and care nothing for truth . Can i say humans dont give a shit about truth? I mean cultures are built on LIES. And NO ONE is saying a word about it. We collectivly turn a blind eye to ignorance and stupidity. Becasue the people being so stupid are makeign all the MONEY and gaining all the POWER and creating for us the nice illusion we sheep feel safe in.

Money is made by lies.

You know what i wish?


I wish i could be "Human" Seriously.


If i was a Human. i might take my insights and wrap them up into new age sounding mutter and weave in a little bit of exitential bullshit and polish it to sound pious like Oprah is doing and make myself a millionare.


because humans are STUPID.


If i had the greed and the desire for power and control and the lack of consciouness, i could very easilly become a cult leader, a religious icon, a sheep herder.

But i cant. Dont have it in me. Ill be the first to tell you i am full of shit.

so i suppose becasue i am in actaullity, Human. I cant paint us with such broad strokes.

my complaint is that there are more "evil" humans that "holy" ones.

And i guess that is the one thing i really cant understand. Why we are like this? And how can we fix ourselves?

((((stops to re read and wishes i was high))))

Of course i do understand that people, society, laws, ect are far more complicated than i am aware of. And i bet if i had the education i should be rather impressed that we get along as well as we do, but doesnt it seem that success if built on blood, and greed?

Is that the way of humanity that i am supposed to accept? I mean if i was rational i should accept what is true, right?


I cannot be rational and say " i reject your reality and substitute my own"

But i can. You do. I mean do we even know what reality is?


Reality is what ever i see with my own eyes. True reality is what we all see with our own eyes.

Nope you cant say that. Does a nuclear scientist see the same "reality" as that bum from 86th street? HELL NO.

The scientitist lives in an entirely OTHER reality. SO how can we truely define reality and therefore rationality?


Back to Rationality........ Life is not logical. Love is not logical, serving others and makeing a better world..............is that even "Logical"

Given what humanity is, an illlogical race of self distructive greedy power hungery idiots, emotionally run, and violently expressive of our emotions? What then is being rational compared to the majority of human sheep that we are?


Rationality is a luxury of very few humans. And even that is comparmentalised. One may be rational about relligion, rational about history and text critisisum, rational about child rearing but not rational enough to STOP THEIR OWN EVILS and cure their mentalities.


Lets suppose we create a "logical" religion. Doesn't logic and rationality deny any form of spiritaulity? Yet humans are spiritaul creatures.

We are square circles and wont be universally content being either A (logical) or B (spiritaul)

we are best makeing room for both. Logic cant be inspired by a sun set. Logic cant experience the kind of vision that has invented lightbulbs.

(be kind in your oppinons, sure it was by logcal methods that the light bulb was created but at the first it was a fantacy notion of having light at one's disposial)

As with the fantacy notion that humanity can create world peace. If it can be done it would be accomplished through logical methods..but at the moment the fantacy notion seems hopelessly delusional.

Delusional because as humans we each have a different understanding of what would be the ideal rational life and the ideal rational human civilization.

ARGH..............what do humans want anyway?


seems most of us want to live our lives, we want families, we want pleasures, we want a nice place to exist, we want comunity but we seem to settle for things less than humane.

maybe i am the only discontented person. thats it......

i am utterly delusional, and humans really are happy.........


I am the only one what wishes for more goodness and integrity. I am the only one who thinks we are swimming in lies and are impotent to change the world.


It is my delusion that if we really wanted to we could change our minds and live in a better world.

Yet i am only delusional because i can dream we WOULD ACTAULLY CHANGE. I am delusional becasue human goodness is NOT what humanity IS.


Goodness is a fantacy. Conversely, if i say that and can see that, then i would have to see and say that if goodness is a lie, then evil is a lie too.

ARGH well that means what?

basically there is nothing to hang on to. We will always be deluded by ourselfs.......


deluded by even our good rationality. Simpley becasue what is rational to one is ignorance to another.


so apparently i have painted myself into a mental corner. i can totally relate to nihilism.

I think the reason i am painted into this corner is because of my obsession with the atheist/religionist banter that leads no where. My obession with understanding.


But i am seeking the impossible. In the end i have only my "reality" and alot of impotent answers. Because it will never happen. People will never wake up and strive for integrity.

Not enough of us.


For instance the price of gas. the price of ciggarettes. At what point to we collectivly say enough is fuckign enough we WONT put up with "their" agendas?

Too many people are makeing a selfish profit, and too many good people are forced into that system becasue that is the only lively hood available. IF we actaully cared for our "secular humanistic " ideals wouldnt we care more?


Anyway, i can see i am just rambleing the same two opposing thoughts, the duality of man is my dilemia.

IS there a rational responce to that?

Not a rational responce to ME...........my thinks are not solid, this was a brain storming blog...the ISSUE i am trying to define , i guess, is that of our human duality. Is there a rational responce to human duality?


(as a side bare if humans are duality they where does buddha get off teaching there is no duality in true reality. i dont know, maybe he is right we can chsoe to not be dualistic but how do we get the idea to catch on with the human sheep?)



well if you read down this far, i commend you. I am not sure if i made a lick of sence, and i dont care, i have just been stomping my feet and screaming wildy and nievly "aw why cant we jsut get along"


Which prooves my point about somethign truthfull and nobel being the butt of a joke rather than concidered.

Your impotent and honest unrich non-power hungery delusional guru signing out.


(ps this post has made me so depressed i think ill get back on zoloft.......... but i would rather get back on weed but some idiot wont let me.)

((why doesn't the spell check work for me all the fargen time?))


Another thought. The only way we can create a world culture is by killing most of us. To start with the undesirables who wont fall into catagory A or B. Such as the people of 86 th street.
The only way the current system of humanity will attain cooperative civilisation, and mutaul support for our countries is through death and fassisum. Because the sheep cant think for themselves.

Look at us................Disasters strike and we hold out our hands for the government fo fix it. We beg our government to control us. WE FUCKING BEGG THEM TOO.


We have people who "care so much for our safty" that we have to have laws to enforce seat belts and " caution coffee is HOT" labels. And the ever curious "not to be used inside the body" on my curling iron.

We focus on silly things, and i am not the only human that sees this. I am one of many impotent humans who cant DO ANYTHING to change the way things are.

i need to stop now. what is lost can never be saved.