Rethinking... and my appologies

I am going to scrap this novel idea or at the very least bench it, with the veiw to majorly overhaul the arrangement, and therefore the chapter block of 30 thru 39 " the breaking of George"'(subtitled the inadvertant fucking up of young Diana to be answered for in book three); can't be written.  And.....well there would be no need to write the chapter block 50 thru 59 " the romance of Carol and Jerry" becasue frankly I dont think I shall ever becomre brave enough to write all that grown up stuff.


Besides no one reads them....who then stays my aquaintence...so there must be something wrong... and I am no where near as wicked as Stephen King....... but I think it is the great contrast...between my spiritaully searching earlier works, and then the violent facsist brainwashing for the good of mankind thing.

But.....don't judge harshly, I did not nail the thing. see .I ...

Lost the faith.  Came to the conclusion that perhaps violence cannot play a role in human society, and my novel was an attempt or thought experiment to .oh......give it meaning.  I guess.

I mean as a creature humans have violent natures. And trama alters us...and what if, ya know for the good not the ego. Punishment to enguage the mind, not hurt to pay back at excess of the ill. Yet I did write my examples extreem. And I admit confused the reader wether or not this was a trashy Sm story. or might I be creating a little role play society like the Gor novels did. But not a realilistic system. Which in it's own way is fun.... *ahem a cult following if you will*

But the model I was useing for one thing is not correct becasue I am both players. And also that I had chosen first person, even if one of the person' is a mind reader or extreemly omniscient, it is "supposdly" really hard to tell a story in first person. (ok it is, but I chose four 'first' persons)

I have come up with a way to fix that issue.

And who knows if I would ever achieve this idea but; what if I wrote the story compeltely in the first person of each character....with cirten polt actions being the only connection between each story line....rather than try to weave it all together in a flowingly  schiztophrenic unity.  But I would also like to add this element ... because I love to dream the impossible dream ... to also make the story choose your own adventure.


*grinning with delusions of happy grandure*

Well anyway. What there is here below is quite underdeveloped. And I have since the last writing become somewhat ashamed of this telling of the story, and thought about taking this and making  twists...like (eek) prosicuting Carol as some have suggested...meaning maybe I haven't conveyed my desire that she be the good guy even if precieved as a bad guy.....oh my I don't know.

But I did plead to the muses in the begining of this endeavour I really do need a co-author, I have learned that it is still somewhat true. I need an anchor that can objectivly give literary and artistic counsel, who gets my primal vision.

So.. I guess I am back to writing about life the universe and nothing at all.

I brushed past a soul on youtube, he was interesting. I attempted to reach out to him....and folloing my normal rutine I kinda followed his steps to my blog and thought oh shit.....he wouldn't read past the last chapter...sooooo..........I figure it was time to write my appoligy. Because I am not about to delete three year's of blog time just cause I got embarrassed. I learned with book one...never throw out the original, no mater how much you think you advanced as an artist.

So...there ya go. If you wanna see before I tried writing I suggest the drop down menu, circa 2009 perhaps....


Well Ill be back if'n I gets me something to say.

Justine.