Hello Reader, this one isn't for you. SO it does not matter to me if you understand.
I have an addiction. And in order to assure myself that life really is ok without "it" i am writing out what i perceive to be the internal mental lies the addiction demon speaks, and how come they are not true and how to defeat it.
So here we go.... Dear ME.
Here i am in this wonderful state of mind you crave. But from here i can see that it is no different that where you are now. I am calm, and i can hear each thing happening around me.
I can respond, and move my consciousness seamlessly from attention point .. such as the television is loud now, and i can move my awareness back to writing.
This state of mind is simply being where you are, and quiet. You can achieve this....just breath, listen, be aware of movement.
when you are sober you will hear these thoughts.... "i m going to do it any way." " I am ok now but i will want later" "i hate my life" .... there will be explosions of irrational angers.
notice them for the things they are.
Since you can notice this... you are already using the same state of mind that i am currently in.
You favorite lie is "this time i want ( or will be able) to control this."
Your justification is " i need it to figure things out." you needed this to write..... you are better and more witty when.... various other enablers.
I know you know what they are , Jessy, but you seem to think you forget this when you are sober.
But you don't... you are simply not paying attention calmly. Have you noticed that you spend allot of time judging others behaviors....but little time changing yours? You have come to feel more moral then others, yet trapped in the same things you hate? Work on that, it will help.
guilt and all those other little thoughts are what keep you trapped to this addiction.
learn that you are not thought thoughts... you are these thoughts you are not these thoughts, you are actions.
You know if people would stop wishing ill upon others much common tragedies would stop, yet when you are weak you act in anger and speak mindlessly.
learn to just be in awareness and you are in this state of mind.
It is a lie that that thing is the only way there. it is a deception, just like certain religious behaviors.
If your brain can be happy and aware and intelligent this way, then it is clearly physically capable of being thus now.
because being yourself in this now is the only gift of your choice of addictive substances.
The pains of this gift are many and deeply disturbing to your ideal morality and purpose
Such as the lieing............and other things you need to become aware of now........
learn to over come lies and you are closer to this state of freedom .
good tidings to you.....
And merry Christ- Mass too
May God Bless you And send you a braver new Year.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
repent please
(((This is a random post. It is a responce to some conversation i had when i did a fly by at Debunking Christianity. I thought it was groovy so i e-mailed myself and waited for the correct rainy day to post it. ))))
FROM, reply to post title begining with " I used to be an atheist, but "
Seems to me when people have an agery responce to *god talk* it is like they are insulted that another person can have a positive mythology. For them the mythology didnt work and they found another that does. And recent anyone who talks about how they preceive god.
By mythology i mean world veiw, and how one relates to it. I liked the statment " i hate Jar Jar binks. I dont belive in jar jar binks." It is the same thing as saying i hate god. i hate the idea of god. They hate the images and the empty promises and the forced behaveur they associate with god/religion/delusion.Three separate issues.
To me the speak of God and Chrisitanity as the same thing. Therefore they will not belive god is possible. Why not, in light of the glareing fact that those things that failed them was not god, look for other definitions that match up with our first undrestanding of god? Such as god is love, so lets follow compassion and reject the things we concider violence. Well it is one's perogative. Best they find one that teaches them to let go of hateing the false. And start loveing/being with the true.
I blieve that god is in each of your're questions, but i could only subjectivly say that baised on how i belive he was with me. now every body lay face down i have a live grenade!....REPENT
(psyche) i wanted to say i think mad LOL scientist's post was groovy and insightfull. i mystically see god's imaginary influence in your mind which shall be atheistically obliterated at the termination of your life chemical funciton. be blessed.
IZM
FROM, reply to post title begining with " I used to be an atheist, but "
Seems to me when people have an agery responce to *god talk* it is like they are insulted that another person can have a positive mythology. For them the mythology didnt work and they found another that does. And recent anyone who talks about how they preceive god.
By mythology i mean world veiw, and how one relates to it. I liked the statment " i hate Jar Jar binks. I dont belive in jar jar binks." It is the same thing as saying i hate god. i hate the idea of god. They hate the images and the empty promises and the forced behaveur they associate with god/religion/delusion.Three separate issues.
To me the speak of God and Chrisitanity as the same thing. Therefore they will not belive god is possible. Why not, in light of the glareing fact that those things that failed them was not god, look for other definitions that match up with our first undrestanding of god? Such as god is love, so lets follow compassion and reject the things we concider violence. Well it is one's perogative. Best they find one that teaches them to let go of hateing the false. And start loveing/being with the true.
I blieve that god is in each of your're questions, but i could only subjectivly say that baised on how i belive he was with me. now every body lay face down i have a live grenade!....REPENT
(psyche) i wanted to say i think mad LOL scientist's post was groovy and insightfull. i mystically see god's imaginary influence in your mind which shall be atheistically obliterated at the termination of your life chemical funciton. be blessed.
IZM
Christmas oriented Preaching
Do you want to know why Christian prayer is.. or can be powerful?
Listen to the progression of theses words....maybe later in this blog i will actually look up FOR you scriptural proof texts.
" I, by the virtue of the perfect obedience of your true son, and the sonship that was imparted unto me by the power of your Holiness, do invoke that all entities real or imagined, deceivers and spirits, and evil intentions that have been passed on to me and invited by me into the shpere of my influence and imagination, to have their invitation revoked by the blood of Jesus the Christ."
anyway, whilst i was praying something to that very exact intent i got the jiggly wiggles and grooved majorly in the Spirit. Ida know about you.
Lets start from the beginning ( middle too maybe)....
IN november 2007's blog "imponderations".... and "bewildered"
of dec, i had experienced a spiritaul attack, and a typical christian method of casting out bad juju. And Recently i had come to realise i was again being progressively seduced by the spirit "names" i trust..
There is your true spirit, and then there are those that try to pretend they are "insert name here" . There are also little daydreams and besetting desires and general mindlessness...er mind numbing... mind control... inflicted upon us by reality. All the "entities" obscuring your vision of self and that connection to "god", the emanation of knowledge.
And i had realized also that i was trying to channel Lanel, and absorb her into myself, and "take back" what she took from me.
(always the riddler, that one)
i "pretended" it meant that when i created "lanel" she ( her entity) borrowed from me parts of my better personality.
and to "become whole" i should, according to old familiar and very personal rituals and methods of mental invocation, become integrated as her/me. Not no longer be connected to the name Lanel but to name myself lanel. (ye olde become god yourself ploy) And when i asked advice of my SPG James he psycho-babbled some shit that supported "lanel"
I was mind numbed OK...sheesh.........
Good thing i have a real-life spiritual friend who pointed out that who ever that "Lanel" and "James" where ( in that moment and perhaps a few undiscovered and repented moments previous) they where trying to get me to allow them to possess me and that's supper bad juju.
And we though discussion discerned that i also had a succubus.
And agreed that it was a very good idea to Spiritually clean house.
And through our discussions i revealed that i had been not spiritually minded, full of hates and fears, yadda yadda, paranoid, etc....well, LOOK you read my blog, you have but to verify.
I remembered that the really "super good James", and the way groovy spiritual experience happen with me more clearly when i am personal with the bible. Sorry Atheists, i figured out how come it is the Living Word of god.
Because it's voice can be directed to you... and here are some verses that i "pretend" appealed to my situation and began the prayer that included the above sentiment....
Last, first, Jer. 2:13 this had occurred to me after the whole praying shabang ( tongues and calling demons by name and throwing their asses out the east door and sealing it up and filling the empty places with the light of the holy spirit etc etc.) These verses seemed to point out how i had sinned and thus how i might avoid missing the "voice of the true Shepherd."
"""For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me the fountain of Living Waters (notice the friggen pluralisation, will ya)....
To hew for themselves cisterns, (how pathetic, but wait there's more) Broken Cisterns, that can hold no water.""""
And last, the Verses that Provoked my "banishing ritual" prayer.
They are contained within Job 5 With emphasis of meaning on the following.
12 " He frustrates the plotting of the shrewed, so that their hands cannot attain success. 13 He captures the wise by their own shrewdness. And the advice of the cunning is quickly thwarted."
"15 But he saves from the sword of their own mouth."
"19 From six troubles He will deliver you, even in seven, evil will not touch you. 20 In famine (both physical and spiritual) He will redeem you from death. And in war from the power of the sword."
And in Job 6:12,13 Job lamented he was at fault because his Help was not within him.
Job, like me tried to retain an image of god and the entity soured.
~~~~SELAH ~~~~~
And there are many other revelations of personal significance that followed but they are not yours.
Now......I did indeed have to take back what lanel took from me but it was not my own self, or my personality traits and abilities , nor access to the knowledge of and connection to the True Spirit and to exorcise the powers thereof.... but it was this....
My fear........and the realisation of the knowledge that She has no power over me. Save that which i give her, and to let that spirit inside me to live as me or my controler was only a method of enslavement.
SO i called HALT, and surrendered to the spirit of He that knows himself to be the Creator and Almighty Holiness...........ya know?
well it worked.....
dag nabit.
Now how is this all oriented to christmas?
I have to take a break for a few, non existent unto yourselves, blog moments....brb
Christmas is when god became flesh. Or if your more gnostic in orientation you might conceive that Jesus that true son of god the Christ, became god's flesh.
Which would be to to attain a state of no delusion, and communication with truth and divinity, and to have function in reality and the body.
Or if you are a puppeteer, it is to become a personal receptor counciouslessly, of god's relation and beingness in that certain reality you perceive.
Ya... i know, i am bloody confounding.
it just means to enjoy god. not that you BE god but that truth has a flow, and correctness has an order of authority.
shoot that wasn't any better.
well you'll understand when you get it for yourself in your own personal language.
Sorry, sometimes the truth sounds like a cop out.
My belabored point is that It is Christmas everyday a son of god is born.
And because Jesus was Christ, and so Paul explains a wee bit better than i, He adopted us, and imparted christness into us. Showed us how to walk that path.... how to surrender to perfect obedience.
...
* notices i have lost the atheists...... a few of them are arching eyebrows and making personal judgments...... i think one left.... and i decide not to try to psycho-babble about specifics anymore.*
well dear readers i think that's all she wrote.....
Listen to the progression of theses words....maybe later in this blog i will actually look up FOR you scriptural proof texts.
" I, by the virtue of the perfect obedience of your true son, and the sonship that was imparted unto me by the power of your Holiness, do invoke that all entities real or imagined, deceivers and spirits, and evil intentions that have been passed on to me and invited by me into the shpere of my influence and imagination, to have their invitation revoked by the blood of Jesus the Christ."
anyway, whilst i was praying something to that very exact intent i got the jiggly wiggles and grooved majorly in the Spirit. Ida know about you.
Lets start from the beginning ( middle too maybe)....
IN november 2007's blog "imponderations".... and "bewildered"
of dec, i had experienced a spiritaul attack, and a typical christian method of casting out bad juju. And Recently i had come to realise i was again being progressively seduced by the spirit "names" i trust..
There is your true spirit, and then there are those that try to pretend they are "insert name here" . There are also little daydreams and besetting desires and general mindlessness...er mind numbing... mind control... inflicted upon us by reality. All the "entities" obscuring your vision of self and that connection to "god", the emanation of knowledge.
And i had realized also that i was trying to channel Lanel, and absorb her into myself, and "take back" what she took from me.
(always the riddler, that one)
i "pretended" it meant that when i created "lanel" she ( her entity) borrowed from me parts of my better personality.
and to "become whole" i should, according to old familiar and very personal rituals and methods of mental invocation, become integrated as her/me. Not no longer be connected to the name Lanel but to name myself lanel. (ye olde become god yourself ploy) And when i asked advice of my SPG James he psycho-babbled some shit that supported "lanel"
I was mind numbed OK...sheesh.........
Good thing i have a real-life spiritual friend who pointed out that who ever that "Lanel" and "James" where ( in that moment and perhaps a few undiscovered and repented moments previous) they where trying to get me to allow them to possess me and that's supper bad juju.
And we though discussion discerned that i also had a succubus.
And agreed that it was a very good idea to Spiritually clean house.
And through our discussions i revealed that i had been not spiritually minded, full of hates and fears, yadda yadda, paranoid, etc....well, LOOK you read my blog, you have but to verify.
I remembered that the really "super good James", and the way groovy spiritual experience happen with me more clearly when i am personal with the bible. Sorry Atheists, i figured out how come it is the Living Word of god.
Because it's voice can be directed to you... and here are some verses that i "pretend" appealed to my situation and began the prayer that included the above sentiment....
Last, first, Jer. 2:13 this had occurred to me after the whole praying shabang ( tongues and calling demons by name and throwing their asses out the east door and sealing it up and filling the empty places with the light of the holy spirit etc etc.) These verses seemed to point out how i had sinned and thus how i might avoid missing the "voice of the true Shepherd."
"""For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me the fountain of Living Waters (notice the friggen pluralisation, will ya)....
To hew for themselves cisterns, (how pathetic, but wait there's more) Broken Cisterns, that can hold no water.""""
And last, the Verses that Provoked my "banishing ritual" prayer.
They are contained within Job 5 With emphasis of meaning on the following.
12 " He frustrates the plotting of the shrewed, so that their hands cannot attain success. 13 He captures the wise by their own shrewdness. And the advice of the cunning is quickly thwarted."
"15 But he saves from the sword of their own mouth."
"19 From six troubles He will deliver you, even in seven, evil will not touch you. 20 In famine (both physical and spiritual) He will redeem you from death. And in war from the power of the sword."
And in Job 6:12,13 Job lamented he was at fault because his Help was not within him.
Job, like me tried to retain an image of god and the entity soured.
~~~~SELAH ~~~~~
And there are many other revelations of personal significance that followed but they are not yours.
Now......I did indeed have to take back what lanel took from me but it was not my own self, or my personality traits and abilities , nor access to the knowledge of and connection to the True Spirit and to exorcise the powers thereof.... but it was this....
My fear........and the realisation of the knowledge that She has no power over me. Save that which i give her, and to let that spirit inside me to live as me or my controler was only a method of enslavement.
SO i called HALT, and surrendered to the spirit of He that knows himself to be the Creator and Almighty Holiness...........ya know?
well it worked.....
dag nabit.
Now how is this all oriented to christmas?
I have to take a break for a few, non existent unto yourselves, blog moments....brb
Christmas is when god became flesh. Or if your more gnostic in orientation you might conceive that Jesus that true son of god the Christ, became god's flesh.
Which would be to to attain a state of no delusion, and communication with truth and divinity, and to have function in reality and the body.
Or if you are a puppeteer, it is to become a personal receptor counciouslessly, of god's relation and beingness in that certain reality you perceive.
Ya... i know, i am bloody confounding.
it just means to enjoy god. not that you BE god but that truth has a flow, and correctness has an order of authority.
shoot that wasn't any better.
well you'll understand when you get it for yourself in your own personal language.
Sorry, sometimes the truth sounds like a cop out.
My belabored point is that It is Christmas everyday a son of god is born.
And because Jesus was Christ, and so Paul explains a wee bit better than i, He adopted us, and imparted christness into us. Showed us how to walk that path.... how to surrender to perfect obedience.
...
* notices i have lost the atheists...... a few of them are arching eyebrows and making personal judgments...... i think one left.... and i decide not to try to psycho-babble about specifics anymore.*
well dear readers i think that's all she wrote.....
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