I don't know how to study zen; A Rant.

 I don't know how to study zen; at least I can study that much while I am here.

I don't know how to study zen here; All I know is how to study my own mind in light of the way the zen master's pointed out.

It is one thing to come to a tacit understanding that the zen masters are only talking about mind...my own mind...yet applying this tacit understanding to all the zen teachings we talk about here, does not cause understanding of that mind, nor the ability to speak of that mind to expand.

That must mean that the different teachings have different tiers. Or It seems that way because I cannot find something like a unifying principle of discernment applicable in every moment;  therefore my understanding of the teaching is obscured.  Well...it has to be something right, because why can I only clearly understand when the Zen Master is pointing to awareness of the one mind, but I cannot understand a damn thing when Plenum and Elaborate are doing their banter?

Therefore I do not know how to learn better from the zen I am able to study.

Also, I do not know what studying zen publicly looks like. I mean there is to study what the Zm's said, when they said it, what the translators coulda tweaked, and even what it means to oneself. Or to express the great principle like you know it.

But I do not know it.  I thought to study mind was observing and refining a lot of mental messes. And I found this easier with the things the Zm's taught. Little things. I also think studying mind is to ask critical questions of one's understandings, to keep in light the Zm teachings of abandoning everything the mind clings to.

Like, how I was struggling the past few days to try to contribute a post, but I got all tripped up because, I really do not know what is expected of "to study zen" other than what I do when I am all by my onesy looking at something the dead zen guy said then, and how it points to that awareness which is alive now. I worried about how the post would look or measure up.

I desided the best post I could make would be an honest one, and in this case my thoughts are simply not polished. And that is the theme.

You can tell me how you study zen, how you use or do not use your mind. And you can tell me that zen is to shut it all up. I will not argue. It is that also, but we didn't gather here to demonstrate silence. (hum, or did we anyhoo)

I am going to "study" this zen saying from Liao-an.

 

" Just get to  the fundamental, don't worry about the outgrowths. What is the root, what are the outgrowths? Knowing the mind and seeing it's essence is the root; explaining Zen and expounding the path are the outgrowths. If you know the mind and see it's essence. You may speak at will and go where your feet take you- nothing is not the path."

oh....

I guess I did my study already.

Post Edit ( two days later);

        This was admittedly not well thought out, not truely ready. Think of this more as blowing air thru a dirty pipe so that water can get thru.  I will revisit this blog and verse at another time.  When i figure out a formula or method that works for me to try to discuss zen stuff.  To try better, and also keep my stream of conscious flow.

      It is like sometimes when you write poems, the first one is like the junk file then the prose comes out. I am not satisfied with this post, and that is ok. 

     The idea is to process live...I think that is how to study the zen while talking about the quotes.  That is how the fellows can help assist one another if their "logos" are not clear. I don't know yet.

     But I have learned that I really ought to read the common material at the site I am making these posts, rather than try to bring newness with quotes they haven't been thinking over for a long time.  I was not being considerate because I think zen words is zen words, right?  Same principle being expressed therefore conversation should just happen. 

But if I am using material they have not been, it is not as good as to tweak a veiw on something they already have been looking at.

And it is better for me too, because I can see somethign new and see it my way and they can say how they figured it when they thought the same or differently.  I had been hobbling myself because I was not expanding my source material.

I did not expand my source material because I was afraid of being confused with so many new ways to express or words or ironically concepts.  I hope these explanations help me overcome the issue I am having with taking that simple little fucking quote and figuring out what I want to do with it.

(or is this whole blog the act of doing it with it, till i get to the point of speaking about what I have been doing...hummm)

 

 

To Be Continued. Eventually.