Praise, Blame, and Explain.

 (excerpt from Red Pine translation of the Zen Teachings of Bodhidharma.  From the breakthrough sermon, pages 90-91)

    "You should realize that the practice you cultivate doesn't exist apart from your mind. If your mind is pure, all buddha-lands are pure. The sutras say 'If their minds are impure, beings are impure. If their minds are pure, beings are pure.' And '  To reach a buddha-land purify your mind. As your mind becomes pure, buddha-lands become pure.'  Thus by overcoming the three poisoned states of mind the three sets of precepts are automatically fulfilled."

Questioner asked..." But the sutras say the six paramitas are charity,morality, patience, devotion, meditation, and wisdom. Now you say the paramitas refer to the purification of the senses. What do you mean by this? And why are they called ferries?"

 

   "Cultivating the paramitas means purifying the six senses by overcoming the six thieves.

 Casting out the thief of the eye by abandoning the visual world, is charity.

Keeping out the thief of the ear by not listening to sounds, is morality.

Humbling the thief of the nose by equating all smells as neutral, is patience.

Controlling the thief of the mouth by conquering desires to taste, praise, and explain, is devotion.

Quelling the thief of the body by remaining unmoved by sensations of touch, is meditation.

And Taming the thief of the mind by not yielding to delusions but practicing wakefulness, is wisdom.

These six paramitas are transports. Like boats or rafts, they transport beings to the other shore. Hence they are called ferries. "

IZM Comments....

  As I typed this out two things stood out to me, All buddha-lands are pure if the mind is pure.

And also how Bodhidharma does not seem to mention the thieves ever disappearing. We are to practice taming, quelling, controlling, humbling, keeping out and casting out thieves. But we do not exist without them.

So what is liberation?  It seems to be the fluid ability to be in the company of thieves, without making the thief, king of your buddha-land.

What is Buddha-land?  It is the place where you find your practice, and where you become free. Your mind scape. Made-up of karma, thought, faith, obligations, ego-self, and thieves.

But I really came here to talk about Taste, Praise, and Explain. Thieves of the mouth (or fingers such is our case) 

What is the desire to taste? To know ourselves as Buddha perhaps? Or to know if the teacher we admire is really awakened? Or to have someone approve of us?  Those things don't mean anything if your mind if pure. 

You could think your mind is pure but maybe it isn't.  IF your asking if maybe it isn't i think you are practicing. If you insist, then maybe you want to taste. And if you are not asking or insisting it is just conversation, maybe your buddha land is pure.

What is the thief of praise? We make objects out of the things that we admire. If Foyan said it better, we neglect saying it in our understanding. Because we both want and fear the giving and receiving of praise. It can unsettle the ego. The Dali Lama once said that teachers have to be careful, they can be spoiled by the followers.

What is the thief of Explain?  I have been pondering this one for years. Only i used to think that Bodhidharma said "praise, blame, and explain." But I guess that is because the thief of taste was on my tongue. But anyway,  When we have felt that we purified our minds to any degree we wish to define, or when we want to ask out about minds in the sangha; I think this is where the thief of explain lives.

Some who explain to correct or inform. Some who explain to express their clarity yet get hopelessly boggled down. Some who explain their questions so much they miss the answer.

 

And a thought on what builds or informs a buddha-land. A Christian with a pure mind has a christian themed Buddha-land. A Taoist likewise. A pure mind is without specific mythological framework. All mythologies or lack thereof are pure to a pure mind.

 

Well there's my first batch of sour doughnuts.

What you all think?

 What can you explain about the other thieves and how you recognize and purify them?

 

Tale of How young Queen Susan got her Crown.

   Once upon a time there was a Magical Kingdom filled with Kings and Queens, and each King and Queen had their own Kingdom filled with magic, and faeries, and wisdom, and friends.

 

   However, not every king or queen wore crowns.

 

   This is the story of how one young queen named Susan truly became Queen of her kingdom, and got her crown.

 

 Susan was an orphan, her parents left their faeries to look after her and teach her to manage her kingdom. But they are unruly faeries. Mean to their lady. They where always hiding things from her. They where always sending wrong messages to others when she was trying to socialize and meet other kings and queens in the land.   

 

Over time the people did not want to hear about the affairs of her kingdom, and kept lecturing her about how she was being a foolish queen that will never get a crown.

But Susan knew deep down that her kingdom was good.  She knew she was going to be a fine Lady of the land.  Her closest Faerie, her still quiet friend from her childhood, sometimes showed her what her kingdom could become. And played stories with her about how she was going to be a wise Queen giving wisdom, discernment, and grace to all in her land.

 

When Sue would tell the other faerie attendants about it, they would laugh at her.  They would present her all kinds of problems to solve.  They brought her all the different kings asking her for advice and testing her.  Telling her that this is what it means to be queen in the land.

 

They never gave her a moment of peace and quiet. And she was a tired over run young lady. Yet everyday she had grace, she held her heart proud, she always looked toward wearing the crown.

 

Then one day a new Queen moved into the neighborhood.  A crowned Queen named Carol. There weren't any crowned kings or queens for many many leagues, so everyone was talking about her moving in, but nobody had seen her around town.

Sue hoped one day she would meet with Queen Carol, maybe she could advise about her and the faeries work  in her kingdom.  

 

Then one day while at market, Carol smiled at Sue and Sue said "oh, your a friend."  And they started chatting about enchanted kingdoms and what not while walking back toward Sue's castle.

It turns out that Carol's Castle was not very far away, in fact it was just on the same path as the way to Susan's castle. And it became apparent that they would be passing each other on the road often. And every time, they would chit chat about enchanted kingdoms and what not.

 

Carol was impressed with the heart of the young queen, but could tell there was something not going right  in Sue's kingdom. Sue seemed overrun, and always had a ritual to preform or a ceremony to officiate,  or a conference to attend. Carol mused "Awfully busy kingdom, I wonder who runs it" 

 

 One day Sue invited Carol to tour her castle. Just a customary  introduction before giving a formal tea invite. They walked around looking at tapestries, and admiring the candle sticks.  The place was once been very beautiful, in the days of Sue's parents but had fallen into disrepair. Carol wondered why Sue's attendant Faeries where so neglectful. But Carol was polite, and enjoyed the beauty of the meaningful heart within Susan.

 

Then they entered the throne room and Sue took her seat and Carol stood before her and curtsied elegantly. No sooner than when Sue was about to speak greetings did one of the faeries rush in, bumping Carol, and right up to Susan's ear to speak of the state of the growth of the rice in the field  where she will be buying rice next harvest.

 

And he rushed out. And two more came in  one to remind Sue about her appointment with the King of Unatria, he is concerned about his peasants being able to pay their taxes.  And the other came to suspiciously inform Sue that Carol might want to harm her, that Carol does not believe that Sue is a good queen. 

 

And Sue grew nervous and  said " Never mind my faeries, I really am a good queen, and I believe that you are a wonderful queen, to have a crown and all. You must be a fine lady. Tell me how you got your crown."

Carol smiled softly, and blushed." Well before I had a crown, I had a royal robe. And when I would sit in my throne room, I would put on my robe and not see my faeries unless I had the robe on. And they had to ask...and I would say....' permission granted' or 'permission denied' 

A queen needs to be queen in their court, and wear a robe of discernment, or mischievous faeries will bother them with silly details."

 

 "But, " protested the young queen." I have so many responsibilities to attend. My kingdom is in disrepair. How can you tell me these things are silly details?"

" There is a kitchen faerie that takes care of rice, you build the kitchen, not monitor the rice. And if you train your faeries, you will not have to monitor their work."

" Lady Carol, you can train your faeries? They are always training me and teaching me....now you say...."

Carol  interrupted her...."I say, aren't you the queen?"

 

And there ended the first visit.

 

 Susan spent the next few months trying to work out how to control her faeries. She even kicked a few of them out. But faeries are very troublesome. Some of them have great powers to overcome Sue's mind and drown out even her own thoughts.  Some of the faeries are very angry at her, and tell her terrible stories. Tell her she is an evil queen who only wants to keep her kingdom for herself. They tell her she will never  be able to weave a robe of discernment.

And Sue holds her self very still upon her throne. She keeps one thing in mind. And slowly she can begin to find her still small friend....she sat repeating...permission denied.  And her friend faerie hugs her and breaths with her, and dark clouds begin to clear from her kingdom.

 

 On one day Susan is feeling very good, and very generous and she invited Carol to have tea. The attendants brought out a serving platter with the best kind of tea in the best glass, but they served their queen bitter cloudy water and weak chocolate sauce in two different very humble gobbets.

Carol was polite, but chose to make it her business to ask about it. Sue explained that " The faeries take the combination from my stomach, and it becomes their elixir so they can do the work of my kingdom."

" Is it always the same potion?" Carol asked.

"Yes, it is a secret recipe from their country and they say, my parents loved it. But I have to admit I do get tired of it. They tell me, this is how to make power."

"  I would never drink that. Does it always taste the same?"

"Well sometimes it is alright ....when I sneak in something else or when I measure it in a different combination."

" So it becomes elixir after you drink it?"

" They make it, I do not know how it is done."

" A Queen should my dear. Queens mix their own potions to enjoy any of their power when ever they choose.  One day it is  chocolate the other it may be just milk. But you will grow wise in all different ways, not only in the elixir of faeries.  And if you don't mind my saying so, your faeries are very rotten servants.

They need to learn to wait, they need to learn to obey their queen's choice to drink or not to drink. They also need a lesson in gratitude. If not for your house, they have no kingdom to attend.

How fortunate that your faeries do not belong to me, they would all have sore backsides."

 

There ended the second visit.

 

Over the next few months Young queen Susan and her faeries started to organize her castle. They remembered good times, they talked about bad times. They laughed and played together.  They started to  understand their places in her home.

 

 And  when they noticed their queen feeling relaxed, they began to admire her. But there where always a few naughty faeries to drag the queen off into a ceremony, more and more of her faeries where changing their mind and making friends with Sue and her still small friend.

 

And they started to teach queen Sue about her real powers.  Her power of wisdom and grace. They showed her how to observe the work of the faeries without having to touch the work of the faeries. How now she can trust that  the faeries who changed their minds will oversee and correct the bad faeries quietly while she learns to become a crowned queen.

 

 One day there came an invitation from Queen Carol for Queen Sue to have a visit in her own Castle.

They walked the grand halls, and talked of the history and compared family lore.  There was a weapons room, and a games room, and a great library where Carol made her potions, which she shamefacedly admitted she had not yet mastered them all. And a fine dinning  gallery with fey standing attendance, and bustling about.  One tall faerie named Regis stepped up to Queen Carol announcing that the rehearsal is going well for the up coming event.

"oh.." Said Sue " So you do , do ceremonies, and conferences and rituals also?"

"Naturally. But they do not do me. I am not those things, those things don't need me. I am simply queen, I attend when it is mine to attend. And conference where it is my room to conference. And I ritual within my private place where my best love lives. Not even faeries will dare enter there."

 

The tour continued,  but they didn't go into the throne room, Carol just splayed an open palm in the general direction saying " That is the throne room, let us continue." as they passed the doors.

 

They went out to the back garden, a fine display of fruit trees and herb bushes, tea flowers, smelling flowers, a fine rock decorated path outlined the way to a central sitting place. They sat, and soon faerie  attendants brought a snack platter and  light wine, Rigis appeared, asking of there should be a minstrel for the visit....Carol waved her hand and said "Privacy"

 

And all the noise of fey stopped.  No more bustling of rehearsal in the dinning gallery, no Regis, no minstrels  tuning up.  Just the garden and the birds and Sue with a relieved look. As if she had never heard the silence of birds before.

 "It sure is quiet here. My castle is always busy. Other kings are always asking me for advice. They take up so much of my time.  Even now, my Faerie  is telling me the King of Unatria wants to visit, it is an emergency. "  Sue is trying to be polite but she feels torn.

 

"Are you close friends with this king?" Asked Carol.

" Not really, I have never had him for tea. But he calls me on the phone."

" He isn't even your guest, and he imposes himself. What a rude character."

 

" He tells me he needs my advice, and my potions to do his work..." Sue hushes when she saw Carol's eyes harden against her.

"I visit guests in my garden, only in the garden. Friends come sit in my living room, and my Love sits with me in my throne room.  If I have important visitors we meet there.  But a king that needs the constant advice of a crown-less queen must have already worn out his welcome with the crown. A king like that should only be entertained in the garden. Because he is weak and can't do his own work.  And a queen can watch over  him from the garden while the faeries attend him."   

 "But, " Protested Susan " He is part of my great kingdom, if I fail him even my own kingdom will fall apart."

 

"It is impossible to fail him because your kingdom is great. Therefore a queen can sit still and trust herself, and witnesses the smooth run of her kingdom. And enjoy her everyday affairs without worry or much concern about the nagging faeries.  She  observes, learns, grows, plays, prays, and she works also."

 

There ended the third visit.

 

 Over the next few months Susan was a diligent student. Her still close friend encouraged her saying...remember you ARE the queen. No one else. You operate the kingdom. You are your kingdom. 

And this caused her some alarm, because all manor of fey jumped in saying this is the kingdom too; attend to this. That is you too;  make it understand.   And another telling her mysteries and how to use powers to create her own queenly will over all things.

Sue was frightened for it was all too much responsibility for a young queen to deal with. She went to her throne room with her still small friend and they discussed things.

The true queen's mind  is still and calm... and  her wisdom comes up because the kingdom is made of her wisdom.  Was one conclusion they came to.

Another was that The still small friend pointed this out, saying "The flurry of ideas and thoughts arising and passing away without constancy  is not the true mind of a queen. Things that shift and change, sometimes good, sometimes bad, this is not the true mind of a queen."

" How do I know my true queen mind?" Sue began to inquire.  And she and her friend sat back to slowly study these things.

Over the course of time necessary for queens to earn their crowns Susan had many lessons from her still friend.  And soon Susan began to even not take the still friend's word for things. And Susan investigated her kingdom for herself.

Susan learned what things she had business to attend. And what things where not the best use of her growing skills. She grew more peaceful and learned to play rituals when she needed entertainment or comfort.  And she held ceremonies  to give honer and gratitude when her kingdom did well. And she went to committees only when invited, and then only when she could be useful. And she discovered that many committees where filled by low born kings and queens, and nobody really wanted to improve their kingdoms, no matter how they argued about defining the meaning of them.

She only had one kingdom to tend. And one set of faeries to command. And she vowed whether low born herself or destined for a crown, she would work to rule her own kingdom.

She would set the places where her fey live, and they would serve her with grace, discernment and wisdom.  And she made a decree that no faerie has the right to punish her when she cannot understand  or when she questions  or when she reforms the lessons. She alone was Queen in her Kingdom.

 Any Fey that steals her power to use it against her  by visions and fantasy or by lies and cunning persuasion or by prophecy or by any manor of infliction of  mind-control and unreasonable dominance and insubordination will be executed.

 

By and by Queen Susan grew and soon it was effortless for her to join conversations with the other kings and queens in the market place. And she was enjoyed by the people. Who looked to the greater lord of all enchanted kingdoms and gave thanks....  because they knew...

 

It was upside down for royalty to  think they commanded  the domain of all the enchanted kingdoms; but that all the kingdoms commanded by them  are within the domain of the greater lord....who IS the kingdom itself. 

And one fine day Queen Susan  put on her fine robe, and had her tea in a special glass, and was attended by her faerie, friends, guests, and visitors in her garden.

There was to be a ceremony in Susan's throne room, today was her coronation. Her own Faerie presented the crown to Susan and bowed in prostration making aspirations to her benefit and the benefit of all in her kingdom, and when she wore it, it was pure light to her soul. 

 

No lies could deceive her for very long anymore. And it was much harder for her bad fearie to overwhelm her. She even grew to enjoy testing them,when she realised that they have no power anyway. Only the power she gave them.

 

She had power to  question and understand that all appearances where false. Even her still small friend was an appearance. Lowborn royalty chase after  appearances. 

 

The Lowborn look to the fey for the meaning of false things. The meaning is found in the queen. And the queen is the viewer of appearances. The queen chooses or not chooses the meaning to follow.

 All things  became clear and still , and she went on to grow and work and learn as true royalty ever after.

The End.

Update Xmas 2021;

        15 Short Zen master quotes. (Bodhidharma and Huiang Po mostly so check out their teachings)

 

1)   If you want to know the realm of Enlightenment, you should make your mind as clear as space; detach from subjective imaginings and from all grasping.  Making your mind unimpeded wherever it turns. (BoDhr)

 

2)  How Miserable! If you do not know how to do the inner work, how can you expect to understand by sitting rigidly?  This is not the way it is. How can you see? (Foyan)

3)   Above, below and around you, all is spontaneously existing for there is no where which is outside of the Buddha mind. (i can't remember who)

 

4)   When we are deluded, there is a world to escape. When we are awake, there is nothing to escape. (BoDhr)

 

5)   When nothing is sought this imply mind unborn. Where no attachments exist, this implies mind not destroyed. That which is not born or destroyed is Buddha. (HuiPo)

6)   Set aside views, set aside formations. Don't let anything outside in, don't let anything inside out. Cut off both and you will spontaneously be illuminated, not being a partner to anything at all.  This is absorption in non-contention. (Yantou)

7)  Do not permit the events of your daily life to bind you, but never withdraw yourself from them.  Only by acting thus can you earn the title of "A Liberated One". (HuiPo)

 

8)  Not till your thoughts cease all their branching here and there, not till your mind is motionless as wood or stone, not till you abandon all thoughts of seeking something, will you by on the right road to the gate of liberation. (HuiPo)

9)   Just let your minds become void and environmental phenomena will void themselves; Let principles cease to stir and events will cease stirring of themselves. (HuiPo)

10)  So you students of the way should immediately refrain from conceptual thought.(HuiPo)

11)   People are scared to empty their minds, fearing that they will be engulfed by the void. What they don't realize is that their own mind is the void. (HuiPo)

 

12)  The foolish reject what they see, not what they think;  The wise reject what they think, not what they see. (HuiPo)

 

13)  Here it is!  Right now! Start thinking about it and you miss it. (HuiPo)

14)  Nothing is born, nothing is destroyed. Away with your dualism, your likes and dislikes.  Every single thing is just One Mind.  When you have perceived this, you will have mounted the Chariot of the Buddhas. (HuiPo)

15)  As soon as the mouth opens, evils spring forth. People either neglect the root and speak of the branches, or neglect the reality of the "illusory" world and speak only of Enlightenment.  Or else they chatter of cosmic activities leading to transformations, while neglecting the substance from which they spring--- Indeed there is never any profit in discussion. (HuiPo)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

If i ever get a guru.

 From now on i am not seeking a guru.  I want a thought partner.  

I have a large display of stuff i have had on my mind. I have had a few words for a letter to the temple.  I keep feeling them and pre-rehearsing them. So They must be close.

Until then let us rifle thru this toy box.

My son has taught me...well i mean he has helped me toward an insight into just where normal humans dwell.  Not crazy ones like me.  I mean i forget that i have been working many years to ...get better, to find god, to know truth, to let go of illusion ,to this or that....

So long i forget how hard it is.  How Impossible.  And this is where a kind hearted thought partner and friend might come in handy. I have found a new dead guru...he is a good guy. And i don't care to question that for now. I am working to stabilize my mental space thru the guidance of Ram Dass for a few months at least.

He has helped me to an insight about just how much "god" wants to "be" that ordinary person.  "god" is quite attached to being that person. And if not god there are myriad other forms of god deeply invested in the journey of each ordinary guy.

Even i am myself very invested in working the journey i am on. In my own personal way.

Which every single guru who is decent will teach you.

 

Why is it that it takes so long to  understand the simple? 

Anyhoo, these insights helped me pick up the discarded pebble that i did not understand from the Golden Parrot a.k.a. my zen friend.  But i will not text or let him know  that, when i understood this morning only then did I make my first respectful bow.

*gasho zen friend, now stay away, fellow dude *

 

Not to run in and tell them that no one has died.

 

I am loosing my thought....time to jam...

 

*billy squire Stroke me*

 

 

I am curious about whether or not a mother and a son could do the psychological work together to deal with or heal the pain. I mean if i could face my sins....could he work thru his hatred.....or should he hate me if he thinks about the times i was unfair...is it good for me to have his hatred to hurt me? or  Can mutual healing happen? Or is it best handled in each our privacy and let natural life flow, show and rebuild trust? (or not if hatred be the answer)

 

Like can or can not....traumatized people heal.....parents and children heal....parents admit their faults, children learning that parents are also human...and at this point in time it is soul to soul not mom to son? Besides not only was my childhood rotten, he and I where in the same environment for his bad childhood.  And my daughter. 

I get frustrated because people are not just so hyped about soul examination.

That's why i will never be a cult leader in real life.

I know , humans need to go in their time. And stuff is complex. And stuff really hurts.

I suppose i could journal that and work out what i can remember, and someday after i am dead,  the kids could have it there  for when they are ready.

Why don't humans take their mortality...and their immortality seriously?

 

er.

 

What does it matter any way?  I write thoughts here, i may print them...but they are dust in the wind.  

but if my kids should find my confessions, wouldn't that be nice? Would that be healthy...

or...am i delusional....

 

*rainy day woman- Bob Dylan and Once in a life time- talking heads*

And... if i wrote the temple... i wanted to speak about how i have been working on not just understanding  that i do go into  Samahdi often, but that i am learning... and the lessons are remembered.

I am sometimes understanding the emptiness of my mind...that no-mind. That not-me.

What ever about the words;  but...when i am clearly in a state that understands it... i recall that i said to myself.... "oh no...i am disappearing"

And it was like reality was a thin veil (kinda silver) and that awareness i call me was unwrapped and spread out into this thin veil....and what was me-ness was just an outline of my face pressed into this veil.   Behind my eyes, nothing at all not even the veil. But there was like...it was formless awareness happening.

And the people i was with...they where face forms  in the veil ,made of the same stuff.

 

I am not sure i would know how to stabilize my mental place in that space... that high of a samadhi...but i have much faith that the platform i am on now can prepare me for that on a more constant basis.

 

It is nice to see i am empty and everyone is me but i am not them....and when i am enjoying my *bhakti* my *Jhana*... as i said before...

 

I don't carry life lessons or enlightenment dialogue....or a path to help people heal or reach my understanding... that is not the way.

 

Somewhere in the midst of that thought is a sharp instruction...the breath....

i can't teach how to control your mind.

 

i can show how i control mine...but...haaa.....can you understand me? Could you even understand why such a thing is important to me? And i am not even sure if i am doing the funny sounding sanskrit words for it.

 

But i can show you, your own silence, which will show you what your stabilizing path is.

 

or a question.

 

ahh i am good at questions.  Even if the answer is  a dad joke...or a lead to a dead guru.

I can be a non judgmental thinking partner.

 

but nah. I am judgmental... but not unfair. (INT/FJ) 

 

i wish i has a thought partner that i didn't have to pay.

Or self censor.

 

*life's been good - Joe Walsh* 

So many years, so little time

 I am having a difficult time finding my direction. 

When i was a young teenager i thought of the perfect allegory for how i felt inside since childhood.

I felt like a child always asking for a hug, and always being denied. Therefore the child keeps asking for one.  Seems like the child is spoilt and demanding but, if you just give them a hug, they could go away content for a long time.

Instead, they eventually learn that hugs are  not really important. They don't deserve one, and it is selfish to want such a silly meaningless thing anyway.

Better to deeply realize a stand alone attitude because.....no one will ever hug you.

And they don't.

Then the child forgets how to properly ask for hugs.  They are weary and overgrown with haggles and bad skin.

*yes i am depressed because i can't seem to learn to stop asking for hugs...or colleagues, or friends, or anyone.*

I can't get attention.  I am expressing the human condition, and how to still enjoy life...but today i am in a real funk.

*eyes zone out into *communication break down*

I am seeking gratitude for this funk. *song changes to..dazed and confused*

Here , while i zone out...ima leave you with...a quote...a clue into the direction i seek for this blog.

 I follow this dude but i don't know why.  He is a study for me.  And i wish that he could find his spiritual break thru or what it may be that he wishes for.

He had a big super dooper happening , where he experienced the wrathful form of his goddess. And she scolded him dreadfully and charged him to ...make a new dark mystery school ( his MO). He believes in the demons and the old lore. He seeks a group of people to learn from his researched methods and magic how to make the world into their magic playground.

Anyhoo... i am missing my jamm....

      

                                                        *******

insanezenmistress

          Dear Black Lotus, i have been stewing over a question about something you spoke of many videos back. I did not wish to go thru the email address. Mostly because it could open conversation, and i know you do crave that here among your comments.

     You mentioned the story of your trying to find some misplaced instructions for a ritual, and after exhausting the mundane you sought the help of your entity, and whamo there was document. (post script "whamo" refers to whether he found it immediately or if he remembered suddenly, or if his eyes/hands suddenly fell upon it)

     My ears perked because i experience this phenom often but i don't need to ask  my entity.  I know it is a matter of clearing the mind and knowledge appears. Or that is to say a different method that you. My question has to do with a postulation that maybe these beings are aspects of your own mind/ symbols of how you access your own mind.

      Then, a few videos you spoke of your visitation of our Mother. I do not disbelieve this. On occasion i have ......well not so much a visitation of the same level of power as yours was....but that is to be expected.  I have not seen her at that strength, yet i have seen her fierceness and her wrath,  but i have seen HIM on few occasions...and they are always a trip...literally....i...i dont really like seeing him too much....particularly as wrathful form.

    This is simply because i am female and my "Animus" would represent as Male, just as the other aspect the "Anima"represents as female. These are inverted  with boys, they have "girl big voice and boy little voice".  This being the super conscious. Carl Jung spoke of it.

    Of course, without a fair bit of ego work, such mental manifestations could drive one to dependency and mania.  But then i guess that is why all these systems have all these practices. And discipline is very important.  But i think the final aim of;  let's use  "Hermetisism" as an example;  is that one becomes magus without a "wand".

Divine Emanations

      Dear sister, they are real entities whose worlds you are able to travel to as well as they teach you various magic. They are in a sense our counterparts beings without physical bodies.

insanezenmistress
     Admittedly I have confusion about how much is me and how much is my entity.
I have worked with strange things but never knew it.   
Still don't know but ...well there is someone in my head but it ain't me.

We get along well but what is it....I haven't the desire to join all these systems to know what I do.
Various reasons. Thank you for the reply
How can I know my she is real outside of my mental realm?

Divine Emanations

    An easy or not so easy way to do so.  Learn to “see”, once you can see into the spirit side of the world and see the being as them to move an object. If you've ever been by yourself trying to sleep and you heard knocking or objects falling when you know it was impossible for it to fall that's usually them. They feed off emotion, mostly fear since most people fear them but they give you what's known as “Dark Energy” in return for yours.

     To learn to see practice silence in  darkroom or while staring at a candle flame, wall or mirror.

     Also mental projections disappear after not getting any energy from you, but these beings do not they are ever present. Once you can see you can easily tell the difference between a mental projection and an inorganic being.

Black Lotus Temple
    I love the way you speak, but these are real entities, and we can form relationships with them.

Divine Emanations

 @Black Lotus Temple  Well said brother. They are our other halves in a mutually beneficial relationship.

insanezenmistress

 @Divine Emanations  Well. For example the strongest emination, like BL spoke of that you can only prostrate before. This....if a mental projection . . I could say that I have never intended to create it by giving energy but it was more a sudden appearance with loud undeniable instruction.
It went away and I can't project such states. ( Total abyss started back at you thing).
With the lessor entity....I have called her wife for over a decade ... But if it is mental projection......
I am nuts.

Yippie.

Divine Emanations

 @insanezenmistress  I forgot the simplest identifier which doesn't require visual seeing.   If you've ever gotten the feeling you're being watched and it really feels like something is there or afraid for no reason, chill up your spine. That's usually them it's just their presence can be a bit overwhelming.

insanezenmistress

 @Divine Emanations  oh gawd yes.   More so in my youth.... Then I started being taught by some..  the observations are comforting but don't happen as often.

Divine Emanations

       Emanations aren't mental projections, they are sentient laws. Whether it's the inorganic beings or others worlds or us the laws of the emanations are absolute and beyond what we can imagine. But we can actually see the emanations are threads of various light colors, they can take on a more personal form if they needed to. Unlike inorganic beings an emanation can take physical form because it is a law.

 That's the huge difference between a mental projection and an inorganic being they will always have a “presence”.

insanezenmistress
 @Black Lotus Temple  Then the fact that they use our brain gear to " show up" to us, a a matter of our body being spiritual antenna.

Black Lotus Temple

   You could say that.

ilove my boyfriend

 @insanezenmistress  me too yes

insanezenmistress

 @Divine Emanations  you used the words " sentient law" if you meant it as such I can do a whole lot of meditation on the meaning it means.

Sentient law.   Powerful.

                                               ********

SO...I found a new and interesting dude on the internet.

i like his perspective but i think we have  a few things we differ on. But that does not matter at all. He helped point me to an interesting idea about spiritual/mental activity.

Perhaps our experiences are projections of fantasy of a kid getting their hug?

Our personal mythos is build of our childhood coping with the imperfection of our parents.

Makes good sense to me. But opened up a whole new adventure.

And now i am depressed.

GOOOOODDDDD.

but my situation is...

I don't remember my childhood. I have after effects....like behavior that does not seem to have a psychological link.  And few turn point bad memories.

But...little/no experiential memory. This might indicate CPTS.  And i don't know why.

I don't know why  i am too stupid for people to bother with. No one will tell me.

I don't know why my thoughts are not engaging enough to attract readers. Because no one will tell me.

I am only worth ignoring and not getting deep with....

* i am trying to make the decision to not let this depression take me over...i mean fuck humans...i am happy until i think of needing someone.*

Oh well.

 

Not that this whining matters. *back to jam....Heart breaker, and a sit back to smoke because i am so off topic.*

 

 Or maybe i am not off topic. Maybe this is mental poison coming up.

But how do i let go or deal with the desire for that hug? How do i accept that there is no hug?

I really hate being a human.

This person also brought up a thought... What if we don't have souls?  What if we actually work and grow them?  Also seems Plausible.

And he brings up the arrested development of human minds.  So true. We are children. We process like emotional children. We pretend.... then tell me my pretends are not sane.

He showed a video of some famous Indian holy man who used to  *manifest* trinkets of necklaces or powder  for throngs of people.  Amazed people.

But the sight of the scene ...gave me a visceral reaction of disgust. For i only saw ego and greed and vanity staring at the guru man.

It was disgusting...the greediness.  One man actually told him how beautiful the necklace was, but complained about god man messing his hair up while putting on him. He ...He made the holy man open the clasp and bestow it about the man's neck.

*very disappointing*

It is so terribly true that perhaps the only reason that i will never get a few hugs...is because not many are even trying to  reach up...or reach down to give them.

People do not seek to learn the very tings their religions teach them.  Ego death.

Humility, etc *see my face turn blue but not my throat*

 

Is it because we are children or because The grown ups have not pushed the bully off the hill?

Or there are only like....20 grown up in the entire world...and i am a new idealist.  No one to show me the ropes of how to help others.

This man has a anti thing about deulism. i am not quite sure i understand. I guess there can not be *other* like spirit realm because conscious activity is manufactured by the brain stuff.

I suppose in this thought vein it comes to present that the fact that we have a psychological science (which some consider high class woo all by itself) is because we are built with similar brains. Like dogs.

All dogs of this breed share similar mental behavior. Variations made by what gets programmed into the dog's experience. And the evil science of it all is to work out all manor of predictable combinations to make for a trained dog.

No doggie god.  Just the phantom stick giver who might one day give them a hug.

I can't agree with this.

 

I mean i can't take it as ... granted.

 

IF the stick giver is the one who never loved me right. Then where from does this desire for  something that never existed come?  Not all brains have this craving.

When i try to crawl into his head space  i feel like....

Alright, my mental fantasy land and how i deem that it effect my personal reality...is simply how my human brain and *energies* congeal and give me what my life appears to be.  

This is why  one man's shakti surge is another man's 5th Symphony, is another man's undeniable and life saving premonition.

Some people believe that by using the awareness and imagination in specific ways yield repeatable results.   Whether they learned it from an old book or made it up for themselves....might some Siddhis be  a *thing*? 

OK so if ...then it is just me bringing my own body and mind into it's own being.

But to the other humans around me, wouldn't my  presence seem wonderful?

Take a person like Thomas Paine, An atheist, rationalist.  Likely never met a god form.  But he was fully in his own being.  I am sure he had a certain presence.

Was this projection of a presence  a thing perceived by the intimidation of the humans who felt it?  Was it the intelligent awareness putting out confidence from the man?

 

*time for a spell check...maybe coffee break...the Levy is breaking*

So many questions. 

A friend is having me preview her ideas for her novel. i am  enjoying this. But she hasn't even looked at mine yet.*sigh*.

 

I have hyper anxiety just like she does.....you would think....

 

*sigh*

 

I think the vein of thinking this man goes has shed a lighting bug to flickering as to how i might gain insight into how was my  schizophrenic friend made.

How are people fucked up by kundilini and bad teachers.

 

Most of it has to do with one giving up their self agency...one operating as a child with the hope that the good fairy leads them to become a grown up.

 

They forget that one natural stage of childhood is teen years...and when they get to the doubt and question stages they keep sucking down the bottle. And can't see that the guru isn't looking to make fellow grown ups.

And also what if...every grown up is so stuck in their own person that there can be no group communication or good doing for the rest of the humans?

Why should i want to help people with their brains?   But, i can't hug them.

I can't even hug them.   It does not work when i explain to my friend how it is that i can still work a job if i have experiences like she does.  And i told her because i know that the voices need my permission.  I can tell them to shut up. I can ask questions back, i can test....they have no power at all, they depend on my submission to feelings and imagination.

She can't be helped...and no one can love her, and ....why do i care so much?

Because.

Jack Karrowak has a part in his "on the road" where his friend is bitter at god because his cat died when he was a boy. And Jack imagined that at the great judgment of god  he would pull the dead cat out and thrust it toward god and demand..."explain this!"  And that expresses a bit how i feel..I pull out my Schizophrenic friend and demand EXPLAIN THIS!

But i guess i can more easily give up on the fantasy that there is a kind of person out there who could care enough to hug her properly.

 

I really hate being a human. And i really hope this is all a simulation, and that we do grow our souls. But more over i have been working on my ultimate heaven fantasy.

 

One main feature is an achievement board. You can look up any trivia you want to know about yourself.  How many times did you burp? How much money did you make?  Maybe even a little sim game of your life so you can see about different choices and life paths. And a library of all the books. And a house that has all the things you ever owned. 

(once i pondered how many certain kinds of cabbage patch dolls would be in the possession of other heaven dwellers. Or could you tell  their life era by the particular brand of thing they have? And 'EW' how commercialized is my heaven now.)

You can mix and match things..make meme videos of a string of all your burps compressed into a symphony. Heaven will be pure entertainment.

I want to be able to  study the actual history...to know the depth of my unreal reality formed by the powers that just want my slavery.   I'd like to also over hear and watch/study the scene of my parents "doing bills" the most stressful times i don't remember.

 

Oh and me and David Bowie will be composing a concert together...and make a documentary  during the process of creation of the event....that was a super fun fantasy.

I only started the dream by wanting to sing a single duet with him...but then he postulated...why...we could do so much more...we could write the music.... learn how to sing together and make the magic...make a whole concert.

And we did that in a flash of my brain juice but i glossed over the fine details like a movie montage. I love montages.

I was thinking lately about writing the temple again.

 

It has been nearly a year since I became the Snail.  And i felt like i wanted to tell them that the crazy person is doing better.

The crazy caller who tried to tell you their crown chakra blew up....and craved help with the settling back into my mind again...but...no hugs there but the ones i pretended in my brain.

And that helped so...um....thanx Buddha-lady?

When i tried to put my grand experience into words the best ones i found were.

"everybody talks about Christmas and show me shiny wrappers. Then one day i am Christmas and i can't find my wrapper."

" i don't know what to do with my mind  now that i found it."

Tell them i have come to understand that the mental states are my mind , not to get trapped in them, what is true for me is the same for all so i am not some kind of special.  

And garbble garbble...those really weren't the words i was forming.

So...unless those words form during the next cigarette break...ima let it pass.

Not time to address the temple with what i think i have learned this year about super dooper mental woo.

Or maybe i already said it.  I just want to tell them more or less, and that  i am on my way.

Maybe someday i can find a fellow to talk with. But it appears that even Buddha people are not into deconstructing the mind as much as Buddha thought they should be. Or there are no truly high uppity ups that can find me.

Ya know the part of me that is bitter is this....

the lie told me there was a someone....i found myself and i am super dooper...but....why didn't anyone else find themself...and i can't find them....Why can't they find me?

So what does it matter if i own my universe i will never be able to help another find their own, i will never be able to meet another and be impressive enough to learn more.  Why did i want enlightenment...i thought it would help.

Jesus said gain the whole world and loose your soul...he didn't talk about

Gaining your whole soul and losing everyone else.

 And i am bitter that...there is no fool but myself on the hill.

 

and NONE OF THESE TEACHERS KNOW THAT.

They still seek the something that will hug them.

 

and........

 

*pardon me while i spiral in the existential confusion a while.....ok man, no more led zeppelin...time for.... ida know, something else man, this is NOT Achilles Last stand!*

*bob dylan....alrighty*

Oh... a random thought about heaven. I don't think i said it anywhere on my blog. But i have typed it on the internet before so...

Our common vision of heaven is like a perfect family gathering. That one perfect thanksgiving. Aunt Joan was not drunk and say mean things. Uncle Joe didn't molest you.  And Mom and Dad really understand their sins against you and you also can understand your faults. ( well maybe humans do not go that far)

Anyway...point is... if there is a heaven with Aunt Joan in it, who ever she was to you will not be who she is by the time you meet in heaven. And so on.  These family members would be complete strangers to you. First because what ever you saw them as was your construct of them...not how they saw themselves.

And other similar thought is about those people who think they can upload the consciousness.  A kind of immortality.  Would my new friend on the internet think this was possible, if we are naught but mechanical bips and bops?

I say it is not possible. Because the recording of the person that you have would be shallow.  Sally likes green, Sally watched foot ball. But I postulate that no new memories will be had. I feel like there would be no introspection.  And yeah would you really want to upload Sally with all her incurable mental problems on a loop?  She won't be able to self realize and if she does....is she now the AI revolution?

Could she then not become manipulated by actual AI systems that she would no longer be able to discern where she ended and ... and...

Oh they already wrote this movie....lawn mower man.

Humans with not broke brains and or enough time to sit with their mental space as the uploaded Sally- types would in theory have, would move their curiosity and learn to manipulate their new world.

i imagine.  

 

Well i don't have anything else right now.  Time for a nap. 

Post script...make of this what you will but...even the "no one but yourself/mechanic of only truth is found in your life/mind/brain combo"

(a non duel idea...if i am tracking.)

Is one also programmed into us for us to find through out movies and themes. The circle of iron with David Carridine made this ending clear.

We are programmed...by what?  What chose the images myself as a human can come up with or fantasize about?  

 And what about those Archetypes not given much light of day...Like having fairy god parents, or Avatar archetypes, or "Mr. Myagi" wise teacher archetype?   Only "crazy people" get them right? 

 I say  that a person can have such an archetype but their ego identification with it causes the loss of sanity. The trouble with having no awakened teachers out there.

Who promotes and models these archetypes for us to discover and  who obscures those that will not be accepted/allowed among us? 

 
Those rulers might be smarter than me.

 

(dude...that's paranoia....)

 

Group psychosis, governed by an elite few who figured out the Brave new world thing ages ago?

 

(dude...that's...  well....i mean... it must be paranoia)