The old master was meditating by the riverbank when a young student interrupted him. “Master, I wish to become your student,” said the man.
“Why?” asked the master.
The student thought for a moment. “Because I desire enlightenment.”
The old master leapt to his feet and grabbed the student’s robe. In a flash, the master plunged the student’s head into the river, waiting a full minute before throwing him, kicking and gasping, onto the riverbank.
“Now, tell me, what did you desire most when you were underwater?” he asked.
“Air!” gasped the student.
“Very well.” said the master. “Come back and see me when you want enlightenment as bad as you wanted air.”
IZM- * that Victorian Lady in the fine hat who sets down her tea; once she decided to make something her business.*
Buckle up kiddies, this might get long. We are going to take a few looks into this thing. We are going to challenge ourselves just a little bit. We are going to listen and share a few stories. And if I am so inspired by the time it is warranted, maybe I will plug in some poignant Zen Master quotes.
But mostly let us deal with; What is it to desire zen as we desire air in the moment of being under water?
That is really hefty. Not some hallmark card you read to yourself on your bed as you stare listlessly out your window wondering what it might be like if you could want zen like you want air.
Nor is it some hope you might hold close; that at least you have seen someone who wanted zen as much as they wanted air. Look how they swim, all you have to do is swim, using the stroke they are using.
Do you think they went into the water knowing those strokes? Do you think they came out of the water knowing those strokes?
No.
What did they know?
AIR! NOW!
Did they say that they could not want air now because the boatman was holding them down? ( the version with the boat man in a boat instead of the master on the river bank works better for my analogy) And when they where let up, did they say that they could not want zen now because the boatman was an asshole?
Did the young man get angry at the boatman, and cast his gaze at the other fishermen in boats? Maybe he thought.... That guy sucks. What does he know? I know I want zen. It isn't that serious dude. Be nice.
IS it really not that serious? What would it be like if you could understand why that guy in a boat knew that the young man was not ready for zen study?
So maybe the young man went to another boatguy and told him the story of the asshole boatman. Boatguy asks for a demonstration of the event. Young man jumps in the water and the boatguy fake holds him down. When the young man comes up, gets in the boat, the boatguy proceeds to tell him how he was drowning incorrectly. How the other boatman was holding him down incorrectly. And to explain what it means to want air as you want zen.
(did you see what i did there?)
Now this young man will learn what to say, but he will also stop wanting zen like he wanted air.
Now let me tell you a story from my life. My dear old best friend was named Larry. Larry was really smart and had an appearance of self confidence. He had a lot of friends, and people always went to him for advice. Larry always had sage advice.
Heck. I even watched him convince a girl that he was a non smoker....while chain smoking. What really impressed me though was how he could be in a room full of different conversations, and respond to each of them in time.
Larry bragged that he was studying "perfection". Hey, I was always into "new age" stuff, and he was really cool. I thought he had something. I felt like he had something. I wanted it like I wanted air.
I wanted to learn how to become perfect. To have mind discipline. To not make errors. To understand everything. To give sage advice. I wanted it bad.
After a few days of admiring him and building fantasies in my mind of all the things to learn. Of how he was perfect and wise. I sucked up my ego, and decided to "impress" him.
I pulled him aside, asked him not to laugh, this was serious. Gave him a preliminary spiel of my spiritual life and....
Asked him if I could be his disciple.
(waits with a red face till the audience stops laughing)
Yeah, that's what he said too......to everyone.
But he loved me...and was my friend for many years. Did the karaoke DJ thing together. He came out of the closet to me first. And I was able to help him by introducing him to two of my mother's best friends, who helped him in ways only they understand.
Now. What did I want so badly that I asked a stranger to teach me?
Do you want it that badly? And was that thing ever within him?
No.
And also let us look at this from an other angle. In fact make this the light of all koan study. The people represented... the monks who get to be the ones in the snapshot; did not just step out of an Allen Watts Seminar.
If the young man in our story had just come out of the seminar... do you think the zen master would have bothered dunking him? By god, that would be child abuse!
No. The monks in the story have already been studying zen. They where not listening to zen being described. They where not judging whether or not the conduct of others was like zen. They where concerned with their own understanding of zen. Their own mind. It's illusions. It's motives. It's understanding. It's doubt. It's belief. It's very existence.
The monks where already asking themselves how to end their wheel of suffering. And happen to meet up with someone who looked pretty cool. They want it from them. They want them to at least point. And some of them complain when they don't really want to breathe air.
What can that person give to them?
Well, that depends on how drowned they are.
P.S. Hey you! Quit whipping in on my favorite baby seal with that lead filled snow shoe!
P.S.S. Zen Mater Dahui "Don't draw another's bow, don't ride another's horse, don't mind another's business. Although this is a common saying, it can also help you practice Zen. Just examine yourself constantly from morning to night.
What have you done that is beneficial to other's and to yourself? if you notice any partiality, you should altert yourself and not over look it. When you have no mind, Zen is easy to find.
In Zen terminology, "mindlessness" does not mean insensitivity or ignorance. It means that the mind is stable and does not get stirred up by the situations and circumstances one encounters; it means the mind does not grasp anything, it is clear in all situations, unimpeded and undefiled, not dwelling on anything, even non defilement."
If you read this and applied it to someone other than yourself...then you become the ewk you hate.
If as soon as you know something well enough to correct others.... then you become the ewk you hate.
If you have written someone off and beat them for being mistaken, or for trying to defend or promote their views..... then you become the ewk you hate.
When you plead to not be hated because you like Dogen, and turn around and hate someone whom you deem associated with rasicm... then you become the ewk you hate.
How guilty you should feel about this is self determined. But if you feel victorious because of your own behavior then you are wanting to breathe water instead of zen.
If you wanted Zen.... unblock all boatmen and fight for your air.
